Wednesday, November 6, 2013

When Sarah Said 'I Don't!'

Sarah and Michael were best friends since a long time now. Sarah was Michael's life. She was his first love. His last. She was all he needed. She was all he ever wanted. She was his true love. She knew that. But - what is life without the ifs and the buts no?

She loved him. He loved her more. Even more. She knew that. But...

But he couldn't marry her. No, not right now. He had a lot of things to be taken care of. She knew that. But...

But how long could she wait? She was getting older. She had questions to answer. People to face. Mocks to be endured. But...

But she waited. For almost five years. But...

But now she was getting impatient. She was tired. And that is when...

That is when there came another proposal. Aaron. Aaron was a guy from her line of work. 32, tall, handsome, educated, Christian, well settled. To sum it up in two words - this guy - Aaron was a "perfect match". Her parents wanted her to say yes to Aaron. She too wanted to, because she was tired of waiting for her best friend Michael. She decides to say yes to this guy. Aaron. The perfect match. But...

But, she was gripped in a dilemma. A constant anxiety. She couldn't concentrate at work. She was always on the edge. She found her solace in the washroom of her office, where she hid and cried till the anxiety subdued. She kept looking at the photograph of this perfect guy Aaron. He was handsome, no doubt. She was going to meet Aaron and say yes. She had made up her mind. But...

But one day at work, she kept sobbing. Her colleagues didn't know why. She did. The anxiety was killing her. She didn't know what to do. On one hand was this perfect match Aaron, on the other was her best friend Michael who was chained to his responsibilities. Her mind said - pick the perfect match. Pick Aaron. But what did her heart say? Her heart said nothing. It only bled. She had to make up her mind. Soon.

Sarah spoke to Michael. She asked him what to do. Michael told her to marry Aaron and live a good life and to forget him and not to worry about him. His heart bled as he said this. The love of his life was going to be someone else's and he could do nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing.

One day in April, she came home in tears. Her mother was home. Her mother was equally anxious like her daughter. Her mother wanted to see her only daughter settled. Soon. She wanted Sarah to settle down with the perfect guy Aaron. But nobody knew what Sarah wanted. She decided that since time was running out of hand, the decision had to be made soonest. She made up her mind. She picked Aaron. Sarah was going to tell her mom about her decision. But...

But she didn't know what happened to her. She hugged her mom and told her, mom no matter what, and no matter how long  I will have to wait for Michael, I am doing to marry him. I don't want Aaron! What Michael has for me is true and everlasting love. He will never be able to live without me. And I don't want to live without him. So please call up Aaron's parents and tell them that this can't happen. I am sorry. Sarah sobbed inconsolably. But...

But now out of no where, there was a peace in her heart. All the storms that were raging in her heart calmed. She was happy. She had joy. She had peace. Finally. After all this time. After the hurricane, she had found her rainbow. She called up Michael and told her of her decision. He was happy. Indeed.

That day Sarah realized her true love for Michael. That day she finally made up her mind. That day was her platinum day of love. That day the verses, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." made perfect sense to her. Her love was pure. Her love was rarest of the rare. Just like platinum.

This is a true story. This is the story of my best friend. And the good news is - they will be getting engaged soon. The ifs and buts are still there, but love conquered them all. Love won over everything else. All because Michael's love for Sarah was true. Since the beginning. And now they will enter a new chapter. Very soon. Sarah is very excited. The calm person that Michael is, he doesn't show it. But Sarah knows that he can't wait too. As for Aaron, Sarah hopes he finds his everlasting love like she did. And soon!

As for me, I wish all the three of them all the very best! God bless! :)

When people asked Sarah how she could be so sure about Michael when there was no reason why Aaron wasn't a perfect match, she said that the peace and joy that she felt in heart that day in April made her realize that the was doing the right thing. That sometimes a seemingly perfect match may not be always perfect. That true love wins. That true love is eternal. That true love is pure. That true love is rare, Just like platinum!

This post is also a part of Indiblogger's Platinum day of Love

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Games People Play

Life was getting tough for him. It wasn't the same. He was having a hard time at work. He wasn't the number one salesman that he once was. The sales had gone down. The expectations were high like always. The profits low. There were rumors of people being laid off. He always thought he was safe. But now, he wasn't sure.

He had been working with the company for the last three years. His efforts had taken the company places. He had grown with the company. The company had grown with him. And today when he need the company, the very same company was thinking of firing him. He didn't know what to do. He was devastated.

EMIs, home loans, sister's marriage, his marriage - so many responsibilities he had on his shoulders. So many people depended on him. He was upset. His mind kept playing the what next? what if? game.

She was sitting across his cubicle and watching him. He was biting his nails. She knew something was wrong. He bit his nails only when his really upset about something he can't take his mind off. She slowly walked up to him. As he sees her coming to him, he stops biting his nails and tries to fake a smile. His heart skipped a beat, he loved her secretly; but never had the guts to confess his love for her.

She pulls out a chair and sits next to him and places her hand on his shoulder. What's wrong?, she asks? Nothing, he said. Okay listen, whatever it is, I hate to see you like this. I know this is a tough time, but I remember I am with you through this. You don't have to go through this alone. I want you to be fine, she said. I want you to be mine is all he heard. He smiled. He felt all his burdens lighten. She was there with him and for him. What else did he need? She smiled. Oh how lovely she looks when she smiles, he thought to himself. Oh how lovely he looks when he smiles, she thought to herself!

After the hurricane came a rainbow, he was able to tide over the bad situation at work. He wasn't fired. In fact he made a real good progress. After all he had the love of his life with him. Was there anything that could hold him back. Yesterday was their first wedding anniversary. She asked him he remembered that day? He said of course I do! How can I forget the day that changed my life! She burst out into peals of laughter. What? he asked. She continued giggling. When she regained her composure, she asked him do you remember what was the last thing I said you that day? "Of course yes I do, you told me that you want to be mine!" "No!!, she said. I said that I want you to be fine, though my heart ached to tell you I want you to be mine. But I wasn't sure about your feelings; so I decided I would replace mine with fine!" "So you were playing games with me eh?, he asked irritated. No, I didn't want you to make fun of my feelings. I know I took a risk. But it was worth it, wasn't it?, she asked. Hell yeah, it was worth it!, he replied and smiled.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Gmail? No! Hotmail? Neh! Yahoomail? Yahoo! Coolio!!

This episode dates long, long back it time. The era where not having an email account was as bad as not knowing what 'twerking' is today! And if you don't know what twerking means, please don't Google! No please don't! I don't want you to end up gawking like the Will Smiths' did at the MTV VMA 2013!

Anyway! I think I should cut the but and jiggle straight to the point! So this was at a time when my best friend moved to the States and I had no way to get in touch with her except via emails. A technically challenged unfortunate techie like me, didn't know what emails and emailing meant! I used to send love letters to a friend in the UK via the snail mail telling her how I missed her (in ink, and not in blood, in case there are some weirdos reading this) So creating an email account was a sort of coming of age milestone for me. I walked into the cyber cafe for the first time ever with an experienced, you know - the been there done that friend!

So once we were in the cyber cafe, the first thing she asked me was - which email service provider do you wish to create an account with? The "?" look on my face explained her clearly how well versed I was with technology! To save me the shame, she went on list the names starting with Hotmail. I was like, "What? Hotmail? You mean Hot MALE? Eeeyou! That sounds so horny! Imagine! Jincy's got a hotmail! It was way too bold me for! No!" I said. She then asked, Gmail? I was like (?) Eh? What mail? Geemail? Is that the modern way to refer to the third gender? The frown on my face signaled my friend that Gmail wasn't gonna work with me. She then mouthed 'Yahoo....' And before she could complete it, my heart and mind and body and soul went "YAHOOOO!?!? YAHOOOO!!" a la Raj Kapoor in that song! Phew! And finally, I managed to pick the one!

Then came the task of creating a username. The late bloomer that I was, something as simple was definitely not in store for me! Thousands of other Jincys had already beaten me in the username race! writetojincy, mailjincy, talktojincy etc seemed like as bad as the cheesy pickup lines like I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment? Usernames like cool_dudette, class_topper, university_ranker, beauty_queen (not that I am any of these) etc were too, too overly narcissist for a modest humble bumblebee like me! Pondering hours over a decent username, I finally managed to settle on It wasn't as creative as I wanted it to be, but it sounded short, sweet, decent and whatever else I felt a username should sound like! My friend heaved a huge sigh of relief! Little did she know that her troubles were far from over! Poor thing!

Now chose a Password! She said. I didn't have to say anything. The lost gaze on my face said it all. Did I tell you I suck at technology? Well, now you know! She went on to explain what a password meant and what it was supposed to do and what it should be like and blah blah! I smiled ear-to-ear! I understood every word of what she was trying to convey to me! A devout religious that I think I am, I would be a sinner if I didn't thank Almighty for showering His abundant graces on me for I finally will be getting an email ID! I thought I should acknowledge Him in the best possible way that I can! What better way than dedicate a password to Him Almighty, na? I decided that my password would be my favorite Bible verse. Sounds intelligently holy! Right? Yeah! But try typing Romans 8:28 We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Try typing that in a password field where all you can see is dots and try re-entering it again to confirm the password! I suck! I know! Kidding you not, but that was the password I chose for myself! Thankfully I couldn't re-confirm the password 'coz I didn't have a clue as to what key I punched in and so by some grace, that password obviously didn't work! From Rom 8:28, I moved to another favorite - Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Did that work? NO! Finally I had to settle for something more short and sweet and easy to remember and most importantly easy to re-type and boom! It worked! I had an email ID! Finally!

I felt I had scaled the Mount Everest of Technology by owning an Email ID! Though I started with Yahoomail, I finally learnt to shed my inhibitions and slowly moved to Hotmail and then the Gmail, but Yahoomail still remains closest to my heart. I don't know why though!

So that is how I got my first email ID created! Was getting yours as bizarre as mine? I don't think so! :)

This post is not a part of any contest or any promotional or any other blah blah! This post is here 'coz I love write more than any other thing! And trust me, every bit of this story is true! This is what happens to you when you happen to have OCD!

Sunday, April 28, 2013

I'm Done!

It was a Friday morning and Neha was late to work by an hour. In the last five years, she never was. Today, she came late on purpose. As soon as she sat down at her desk, she could hear her manager screaming her lungs out.

Why are you late? There is so much to be done. If you don't complete it, you will have to stay back. I don't care. Her boss started her daily early morning drama. She had had enough of her. It happened every single day. Her insane boss would scream and screech and shout at the top her voice, disturbing everyone else's peace and sanity. It disturbed Neha a lot, but today she chose to ignore it. Neha had some other thoughts in her mind.

Unable to concentrate on work, she kept fidgeting with her mobile. She had many reasons to not work today, her abusive manager being just one of them. She had an important decision to make. She had enough of her boss's traumatic tantrums. Enough already!

And that is when her phone beeped. After the call, she ran to her boss's desk and threw her resignation papers at her Cruella De Vil boss and said to her in the same tone, I'm done with you! Go hire someone else! You are the reason I don't feel like working! You are the reason I hate this place! You are the reason I and the others on the floor can't rest in peace! I've had enough of you! Bye!

Her boss was speechless. She thought Neha was kidding. But it was too late. Neha had made up her mind.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers 
by BlogAdda. 

This post is also a dedication to people like me who have had horrible bosses in the past and who finally managed to break free.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

She Was 17

She was only 17 when she left her home and her parents to look out herself and her family. She was in an unknown place. An unknown land. Unknown people. Unknown tongue. All that she she knew was herself. She was here with a purpose. She was here to earn. She was here to provide for her family back in her hometown. And she was only 17.

It was a Monday, when she set out for work. It was a long, usual day. Nothing unusual. Until, it was time to get back home. She was still new to the place and wasn't very comfortable with the place and the surroundings. And as fate would have it, she lost her way. She didn't know where she was going. And she didn't know whom to ask. Not knowing the language made it even more harder for her. And she was only 17.

And that is when out of nowhere, he came. He saw her and could make out that she was lost. He asked her where she wanted to go. She managed to mouth broken sentences in the strange language and told him where she wanted to go. He helped her find her way and made her feel safe. He could have chosen to ignore her. To be a mute spectator. To leave her at someone else's mercy. To leave her to her destiny. Even worse, he could have hurt her and taken advantage of her weakness. She was only 17. Instead, he made her feel comfortable. Understood her plight, helped her and took her home. He didn't have to. But he did.

This happened some 30years back. Had it not been for that unknown stranger, no one knows where she would have been today. She doesn't know her savior's name. He doesn't know her's. But he saved someone that day. She was young, afraid, alone, vulnerable and scared in a strange land amidst strange people. She knew no one. No one knew her. But that someone from somewhere came and saved her out of nowhere. And she was 17. Then.

Today she turns 46. She still thinks about that kind stranger who saved her life. She thanks him and breathes a silent prayer upwards. She is my aunt.

When I called her up today to wish her, I asked her if she remembers that fateful day when she was lost. She paused and said, yes, I do. How can I forget that day? And if it wasn't for that man, I dunno where I'd be. I may never have ever gotten to see this day. Or live to see you. Tears welled up in my eyes as my soul silently blessed that man. He saved my favorite aunt.

This post is a part of #Soldierforwomen in association with

This post is also a dedication to that nameless stranger who saved my dearest aunt. Thanks soldier! 

Monday, March 18, 2013

Pay It Forward

Neha, a young executive was nervously biting her nails. She had been sitting outside the adoption center for almost an hour now. And she was running out of patience. She had rehearsed the answers for all the questions the panelists may throw at her. Neha, you're next. The volunteer called out her name and ushered her in.

They scanned her body language to discern if she fit the bill. She was getting uncomfortable with the piercing looks, but she faked a smile. She was here with a purpose and she decided she wouldn't leave without getting it done. It was her only hope.

Soon flew in a string of questions disturbing her trail of thoughts. You are 35 and unmarried. You used to be an alcoholic. You live alone. Why do you wish to adopt? Are you sure you will be able to devote your time to the child? What if you regret it tomorrow?

Neha was prepared to answer all these questions. However, she never realised they would get to know about her alcoholic past. She smiled and calmly answered all their questions one by one. Yes, I am 35 and unmarried. Yes, I used to be an alcoholic. Yes, I live alone. Yes, I wish to adopt. Yes, I am sure I will be able to devote ample time to my child. And no, I won't regret it ever.

As if the panelists would fall for such a simple answer. They smirked at her. And that is when Neha rose from her seat walked towards the panelists and said, You want to know why I am 35 and unmarried? Why I used to drink? Why I live alone? Why I wish to adopt? Why I will make sure I will devote ample time to my child? Why I wont regret this decision? She didn't wait for the board to reply. She went ahead and narrated her story.

My mom married a man who was an alcoholic. I have seen the way he treated her. He treated her like crap. And I have seen her bear it all in silence. Inspite of the hardships she went through, she managed to bring me up single handedly and gave me the best upbringing I could ever imagine. She educated me, taught me values and respect. Everything that I could ever dream of. All that I am is because of her. My respect for her grew day by day and at the same rate, grew my hatred for my father. One day, I saw my father beating up my mom as she was sleeping. I was only 12 then. I wanted to run away with my mother somewhere. But I couldn't. That day I resolved that I would never marry and would take care of my mother for the rest of my life. That I would study hard and get a good job and give her the good life she never had. She turned to the panelists, looked them in the eye and said, and that is WHY I am 35 and still unmarried. She went on, Yes, I used to drink. I thought if I started drinking, my dad would stop. He didn't. It made no difference to him. Actually, I never meant anything to him. I thought I would be able to change him. But I wasn't able to. All I managed to do was add to my mother's woes. And so I gave up drinking. Just like I gave up on my father. Just like I gave up on men. She paused and drank a sip of water as she wiped a tear from her left eye. She continued, Yes, I live alone. Why? Well, because my mother passed away last year. And I have no one else left. And hey - did I tell you about my dad? Well, he passed away five years back. So right now, I am an orphan in this big, big world. That is why I live alone. The panelists were now intently looking at this young 35 year old young woman. Picturing how tough life has been with her. At that very moment, Neha broke the silence and said, I wish to adopt because I have seen what my mother has done for me. I was never able to pay her back. I think I will be able to pay her back by making someone else's life beautiful. Just like she made mine. This is the only way I can pay her back. I can pay it forward. And I know I will do a good job at it. I wish to share my life with someone, and I wish that someone is a little girl with whom I can relive my lost childhood once again. And I know I would never regret it. That's all I have to say.

Neha sat back on the chair and looked at the panelists. They smiled and were happy to see someone who wanted to make someone else's life beautiful. They gestured to the volunteer in the room, who got a little three year old girl from the next room. Her name is Nisa, would you like to take her home? Asked one of the panelist. Neha was delighted to see Nisa. Nisa was happy too. Neha nodded her head and said yes. She couldn't contain her joy. She promptly completed all the formalities. And a week later, she walked back from the orphanage with Nisa in her arms to make her one bedroom house, a home.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers 
by BlogAdda.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Innocence Lost

She hated going to college. Everyone teased her. Everyone. Everyone called her names. Everyone. Everyone thought she was weird. Everyone. Even the professors. 

Home was no different. Her parents hated her. They counted her as a curse. They didn't wanna put up with her anymore.

As for her, she hated herself and her life pretty much as everyone else did. She found solace in the cigarettes she smoked and the silent sobs that she wept. She knew she was weird. She knew she was different. But she wasn't to blame, was she? She hoped that her parents would understand her; but no, they didn't. They blamed her for no fault of hers. Absolutely no fault of hers.

As she recalled that fateful day when she was a five year old little girl. She was normal. Then. She isn't now. That fateful day changed everything. Everything.

It was the holiday season and her family was spending the vacations at a relative's place. It was almost twilight. The festive season was in the air. She was completely lost in the gaiety of the festive season. Giggling and laughing and running around like a normal five year old girl. And that is when it happened. Her uncle called out to her. He was her favorite uncle. One - he was damn good looking. Yeah! Even at five, she looked out for good looking men from her innocent eyes. Two - he made her laugh! That was all she ever wanted. Ever! But the uncle wanted more. Much more. He called out to her and told her that he had something for her. She ran to his room. He called her close to him and held out a toy wrapped up in paper. It was a doll. She loved dolls. She thanked him and started playing with in like most five year old girls. And that is when she sensed something. Something was definitely wrong. She knew it. But she was too scared to move or to speak. She was numb. As if someone had cast a spell on her. She couldn't feel her voice. It was as if her throat had dried up. She wanted to scream but her voice ditched her. It was as if she was stoned. She couldn't move. She just couldn't. And then she heard a voice. It was the uncle. He gave her a hug and said to her, I hope you liked what uncle did! Just don't tell anyone, alright? And he smiled. She was still numb. She didn't know what to do. With whatever courage and strength she had in her, she ran to her parent's room. She hugged her mom tight and went off to sleep. She didn't breathe a word of what had happened. Just don't tell anyone, alright? Those words still echoed in her head. She closed her eyes tight and went off to sleep hoping it was all a dream and that she would be a new person the next morning.

The next morning came. And her wish was granted. She was a new person. Indeed. She felt it. She sensed it. She knew it. She lived it. Her outlook towards life changed. Her life changed. She changed. It seemed like she had lost her childhood. It seemed like she matured overnight. Like she had lost something. Like she had scarred herself. Lost her childhood. Lost her smile. Lost her laughter. Lost her innocence. Lost herself. Lost her life. Lost a reason to be alive. She wished she could change all that happened. She wished she could return back to where she was. She wished she could return to innocence.

Since that day, she hated toys. She hated boys. She hated dolls. She hated life. She hated men. And she hated her uncle. He had done a horrible thing to her. Horrible. Something she just couldn't forget. She blamed herself for everything. She blamed herself for her fate. She blamed herself for being gay. She hated herself. She hated life.

If she only knew that she wasn't to be blamed. If only. Only if.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers 
by BlogAdda.

If you ever been abused as a child or as an adult, please don't blame yourself. It isn't YOUR fault! 

And parents - never leave your kids alone with uncles or aunties. NEVER EVER!!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

I Do

He was the sixth guy. She had had enough. She didn't wanna do it anymore. She was tired. Tired of guys coming home every weekend. Tired of the routine questions. Tired of serving them tea. Tired of them checking her out as if she was some piece of furniture they dropped in to buy. She was tired of everything. She was looking for a way for all of it to end. If she could.

She was lost in her thoughts and that is when Leanne heard her mom across the hall. When she ever gonna find someone? I am tired of having her here. Why can't she settle for someone? What is she looking for anyway? He is educated, has a decent job, looks alright. What else does she want? At our time, we didn't even have the option to choose. We were packed off to the first guy our parents thought was good enough. Good enough! Leanne had heard that enough! She was tired of it. She was tired of the drama at home. What exactly is good enough? Why does she have to settle down for good enough when she could get the best? Was she good enough for someone? She had her doubts and anxieties and insecurities. A million of them. Add to it, the daily drama at home. She was tired of everything. She was looking for a way for all of it to end. If she could.

This weekend would be it. All the drama would end. She decided she had enough and wanted to put an end to everything for once and for all. Her folks would be happy, especially her mom, Leanne thought. But what about her happiness? Oh that can wait! She said to herself. She was lying. She knew it. But she had no other way. She had to do it. And now. For the greater good. For everyone else's joy and happiness. She decided to give up her own.

And finally she did what the others wanted her to do. They made her believe she did the right thing. At last! But in her heart, she knew what a mess she made. Yet, she smiled through the pain. She smiled for everyone else's sake. Though she didn't feel good inside.

She had finally settled for the seventh guy that her parents arranged for her. And today was the D day. As her father walked her down the aisle, Leanne tried to convince herself that it wasn't a mistake. It wasn't a mistake that she was getting married to a complete stranger. It wasn't a mistake to leave aside her dreams and desires and finally settle down. This was what her parents wanted, didn't they? Then how can it be a mistake? It definitely isn't! She knew she was lying.

And then the priest asked her, 'Do you, Leanne take Michael, to be your lawfully wedded husband?' She replied, 'Yes. I do.' Her heart was blackmailed to say a feeble Yes, but her mind was forever saying a stubborn No.

She was scared. And she hoped that it wasn't a mistake.

You can't just sit there and put everyone's life ahead of yours and think that counts as love. But Leanne just did.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers 
by BlogAdda.

You have just one life. Don't settle down for something lesser just because it would make someone happy.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Words Are All I Have

Writing to me is a therapy,
Trust me, it works much better than allopathy.
I can create anything new I may,
By the words I choose to say.

On the days that I seem to be blue,
Words hold me together like glue.
Even on days I'm down with flu,
I rhyme like a sleuth working on a clue.

So many words to pin, so many stories to spin.
So many thoughts pouring in.
One by one I pick 'em,
One by one I speak life to 'em.

It really feels very great,
When a friend appreciates the stories I create.
I know I have touched lives,
With the words I've etched in their mind.

And I know it isn't a lie,
When amigos tell me they like my line.

On the days I feel melancholy,
Writing gives me constant company.

Writing to me is fun,
Because it makes me reach for the sun.
Even when things look very glum,
Writing makes life so very yum!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers 
by BlogAdda.

When Bee Gees sang the lines 'Words are all I have', they were talking about me!
Shhh! Don't tell anyone okay? Our little secret!

And hey all you Calvin lovers! Here's something for you!


Sunday, February 10, 2013

Say What You Need To Say

We studied in the same college. She was in a different class though. I always had something for her, but I didn't know what it was. She was just too perfect. Too good. Straight out of a dream. Too perfect. Too perfect to be true. We had a few common friends, but nothing else in common. We were as alike as chalk and cheese. I was shy and reserved. She was outgoing and outspoken. I was nothing. She was everything. I definitely felt something.

It was the last day of college. I was sad because I knew I'd never get to see her again. I had no reason to see her again. And chances of bumping into each other was remote. We lived in extreme ends of the world. It was as if my world was ending that day. I knew I had something for her. But I didn't have the slightest clue about her feelings. And with so many guys vying for her attention, my chances were pretty remote. Actually, I had no chance at all.

I still remember that day. I was lazing around at home. That's when I got an SMS which read 'Hey! I am in college. Where are you? Can we meet?' I didn't waste a minute and replied back, 'I'm around. Gimme five minutes and I'll see you at the foyer.' I don't know why she SMSed me. She never SMSed much. Whatever it was, I was happy. It was probably the last time I would meet her. My heart sank. Literally!

I rushed to the college in my car. She was there waiting for me. She was a very simple girl. With a very weird sense of dressing though. I think I liked that in her. I dunno. Whatever it was, I found her intriguing. I was very curious about her. And she was ever elusive. It seemed no different today. I still wondered in my head why did she ask me to meet her? Does she like me too? Ahh! No! It can't be! I am nothing like her! She is too good to be true! Shane? Shane?? I had drifted far away in my wonderland. I didn't hear her calling me. What is it? I asked. So? So you didn't hear a word of what I said in the last ten minutes? She seemed really irritated. I cursed myself for having pissed her off! Ah Women! I thought in my head. Men! She muttered loudly. What? I asked. Ohh nothing! She scorned and got into the car. Can you drop me to the station?, she asked. Err, why not? Sure! Okay! So she called me to chauffeur her around! Damn I wanted to kill her! If she let me. If!

The station came and this ever elusive pretty lady was still in the car. So I turned to her to tell her, Madam, the station has arrived. In case you didn't notice! I said to her with a slight taunt in my voice. Err yeah! I know. Err...and she blanked out and stopped. Err what? What is it? I asked her, irritated! I wish to tell you something. She said nervously. What? Well...and she went blank! AGAIN! Women I tell you! I hate them! So much drama. I just wanted to...Do you have anything to tell me?  She cut short my thoughts. Err no! Except that the station is here! I was getting confused. Was she playing mind games? These women! Ugh! Okay she said and the she said three more words. No! Five actually. I think, I like you. What? What did I just hear? You like Me? Yeah, she said. Silence. It was silent for atleast five minutes. I could hear the pixies whispering in my ears. I got uncomfortable. Silence doesn't go down too well with the men! She was getting uncomfortable and fidgety too. I could sense it. Finally she broke the wall of silence and asked me, So? Is there anything you wanna tell me? I muttered, Well nothing! You like me and I like burger and fries! I didn't know what to tell. Damn! What? What did I just say? I like burger and fries? Where is my brain when I need it the most? Where are those cheesy pick up lines? Damn! And dhud! She left out of the car fuming. Quite literally! Damn! What did I just do? I just spoilt the whole thing! Why the hell didn't I come up with something better? A smile and say something like I like you too? Or any other crap would have done too! But burger? Fries?? Damn! Life was horrible. End of the world like most people would say! Literally!

However, it was just the beginning for me. I messaged Nicole - yeah that's her name - and apologized to her for being such an ass. I didn't just apologise, but I also confessed my love for her. She being a woman, threw a BIG drama. How could you say something like that? Blah Blah! You're so mean! Blah blah! Some more blah blah and blah blah! Women! She took time to forget that incident and to forgive me. But she did! She felt that I was really very insensitive and that I meant to taunt her. More than that, she was offended as to how could I think of food when she was professing her love for me. Well, I think she didn't know us guys well enough. We are either hungry or horny. And I was 'hungry' that fateful evening! Anyway, she decided to put back that episode and gave me a chance. And I am eternally grateful to her for that! She kept me on my toes 24/7. I loved it though! It was a lovely feeling. She was really irritating at times, most times! Trust me! But I kinda liked that in Nicole. We became best friends very soon.

Five years down the line, I proposed to her properly and she said yes. She had tears in her eyes, 'coz she never thought I would muster the courage to tell it to her. And then we got married. There's been no looking back since then! Oh it wasn't really easy breezy though! She gets on my nerves most of the times! She is sweet, but only when she is sleeping. Shane?? Shane?? Oh that familiar screech of hers! What is it Nic? I am in the bedroom with Nina and Jonathan! What is it? I screeched back to her! I could never outdo her though! She came running to the bedroom and smiled and said, Darling, dinner's ready. Let's eat. I'm hungry! I smiled back and replied, Is it? We'll be there in a minute. Nina wanted to hear her favorite story. Ohh Nina! How many times will you hear that thing? You've heard it a hundred times!, saying so she took our four year old daughter Nina from my lap and gave her a kiss. Mommy, but I love that story! Daddy tells it so cutely. Nicole smiled and looked at me. I knew what that look meant. It meant everything to me. She was my life. She was my everything. I love her. Our one year old Jonathan is too young to understand the story, but one day, I am sure that he will understand and he too will love hearing about how his dad met his mom, just like Nina does. Just like Nicole does. Though Nicole pretends like she doesn't care a damn. She does, I know! I know!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers 
by BlogAdda.

This post is also a dedication to love. When you find true love, don't ever give up!
And like John Mayer sang - Say What You Need To Say!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Little Things That Make Me Smile

Man by default, is programmed to be sad and negative. Don't believe me? Okay! Take a clean sheet of pure white paper. Took? Make a small dot on it with a black pen. Done? Now, ask someone what do they see. Chances are nine out of ten will say that they see the black dot! No one will tell you that they see the beautiful flawless white paper! NO ONE!! Hence proved. Man is negative by default! Period.

I too am. I am not always a happy person. At times, I am really down the drains. Most of the times actually! Really! But what I like the most about myself is that I don't look for or wait for big things to happen in life to make me happy. I truly believe that it is the small things in life that matter much more than the big ones. Some of the little things that make me smile are:

  • When I watch the sun rise or the sun set in its majesty. I smile.
  • When I see the full moon looking down on me as I walk on earth. I smile.
  • When I pluck ripe red mulberries from my neighbor's tree and eat them. I smile. And when I see my fingers turn blood red with the color of the mulberry, I lick them and I smile even more.
  • When a friend who doesn't believe in God believes I am an angel. I smile.
  • When I make someone laugh at my expense. I smile.
  • When the funny videos I made, makes a someone's day. I smile.
  • When I see a baby doing whatever they do. I smile.
  • When I think of my babies. I smile.
  • When the dream I dreamt last night comes true, though in a weird way. I smile.
  • When a friend is having a real bad time (at least they tell me they do - but trust me, it is a teeny weeny thing) I send them thoroughly embarrassing videos of myself just to cheer them up. I smile.
  • And when they pull my leg over the stupid video. I curse myself. I smirk. But hey! Who cares! I made someone happy. So I smile again.
  • When someone calls me by cute nicknames. I smile.
  • When I while away my time building castles in the air. I smile.
  • When I look into the mirror and see her making funny faces at me. I smile.
  • When the water running down the tap is warm enough for a cold winter's morning. I smile.
  • When I see a butterfly fluttering from flower to flower outside my balcony. I smile.
  • When I see a parrot or a squirrel on the guava tree right outside my window. I smile.
  • When I see the only vacant seat, just for me in a crowded train or a bus. I smile.
  • When I get the whiff of freshly made popcorn wafting from the food counter on the railway platform on a cold winter's night at eleven. I smile.
  • When I have bhel puri all by myself on my way back home at eleven thirty in the night. I smile.
  • When I am late from work and my dad comes to pick me up at the railway station at twelve thirty in the night. I smile.
  • When I reach home and find my mother sitting beside the window in the middle of the night waiting for her daughter to come home. I smile.
  • And when she goes to the kitchen and makes perfectly cooked, round, salt and peppered omelette just for me. I smile.
  • When someone thinks of gifting me pepper spray because I work late in the night. I smile.
  • When I reach home safely at night. I smile.
  • When I am in the middle of the week, the thought that Friday is just some days away. I smile.
  • When I get an SMS telling me that my salary has been credited. I smile.
  • When the databases at work crashes and I have nothing to do. I just can't stop grinning!
  • When it is a Friday, I can't stop smiling!
  • When I play agony aunt to a friend. I make them smile with my positive words and then I smile too.
  • When a friend plays agony aunt to me and makes me see sense. I smile!
  • When a friend sees me having lunch alone at work, ditches work and comes running to give me company. I smile. Then the friend threatens me, mind you - not request, but threatens me 'Dare you have lunch alone! Call me okay? Else I won't talk to you ever!' I smile even more!
  • When someone who hasn't seen me in person, but thinks that I am an amazing person. I can't stop gushing!
  • When I accidentally hear my parents praising me. I smile. And then I walk up to them and ask them innocently, 'Did you just call me? I think I heard you guys take my name' They join my drama as they tell me, 'Oh no no! We didn't call you. You must be hearing voices!' and then we all laugh together as one happy family! I smile!
  • When my perfect brother tells me that he is proud of me. I cry. And then I smile.
  • And then when he gives his sister the tightest bear hug in the world and chokes me, I wanna kill him. I punch him in the tummy, he screams in pain and I smile.
  • When I ask my daddy to make tea for me, he scorns 'make it yourself or don't drink' I frown. But then minutes later, he comes to my room with a brimming cup of hot tea. I smile.
  • When I look back at the days when my mom was hospitalized for a CT scan, the technician messed things up and my mom was in danger. But she came out safe and alive. I get goosebumps. I smile and thank God that nothing worse happened.
  • And after that surgery, my mom couldn't use her hands for a while. So my dad used to plait her long hair. When I used to see him plaiting her hair, I smiled through my tears.
  • When a complete stranger recognizes and remembers me from the video I sang in. I feel like a celebrity! I smile.
  • When my friends like the small cute cards I made for them. I smile.
  • When someone calls out to me just to tell me a hi or a bye. I smile.
  • When I think that someone somewhere is made just for me. I smile.
  • When I see my parents and family smile because of me. I smile.
  • When someone says my blog post has touched their life. I cry. And then I smile.
  • When a friend tells me that they have my blog bookmarked so that they can check it everyday. I smile.
  • When a friend tells me that I am like a diamond with many faces, and each face reflecting a different light. How can I not smile? I smile!
  • When a friend sends me a two liner mail asking me how I've been. I smile.
  • When I help someone in the smallest way I can. They smile. I smile too.
  • When someone helps me in any way. I smile.
  • When I wake up each day. I smile.
  • When I wake up on a weekend. I smile wider.
  • When a friend mails or messages me just to tell me that my blog post was lovely. I smile.
  • I didn't have a barbie doll or a teddy bear while growing up. I didn't have fancy toys either. But when I think of the lovely childhood that I had, I smile.
  • When I lose count of my many blessings. I smile.
  • When I think of the meaning of my name. I smile.
  • My name means God is gracious. And God truly has been gracious to me! How can I not smile? I smile.
  • When I realize I am blessed. I smile.
  • When someone tells me that I have touched their life in a positive way. I smile.
  • When I know that everything will turn out fine one day. I smile.
  • When I know I have made someone's day. I smile.
  • When I burst those bubbles on a bubble wrap. I smile.
  • When my favorite song plays on the TV or the radio or my mobile. I smile.
  • When I hear my favorite RJ Keisha on Thursday mornings. I smile.
  • When I listen to Owl City's Fireflies or One Direction's What Makes You Beautiful or Katy Perry's Fireworks. I smile.
  • When I sing a song and I believe in my heart that I've sung it better than the original singer. I smile.
  • When I play some random song on my guitar. I smile.
  • When I play the audio clip of me snoring. I laugh my head off. And when I sober down, I smile.
  • When I see Shania Twain. I smile. When I see Gerard Butler. My smile gets wider and naughtier.
  • When someone smiles at me. I smile.
  • When I get a beautiful SMS from someone. I smile.
  • When I realize I am alive. I smile.
  • When I know my prayers will be answered soon. I smile.
  • When I realize how much God loves me. I smile.
  • When I am depressed, I count my blessings. And then I am happy. I smile.
  • When I am happy. I smile. And make others smile too.
  • When someone tells me I have a beautiful smile. I smile. Even more.
  • When I realize that some people love me. Just the way I am. I smile.
  • When I know I am the reason behind someone else's smile. I smile.
  • When I am worried thinking about my anxious tomorrows. The memories of my wonderful yesterdays come to my mind. I take a deep breath. And, I smile.
  • When I realize that life goes on. No matter what. I smile.
  • When I realized that I have moved on from a pain I never thought I would. I smile.
  • When I realize that I am still safe and sound and secure. I smile.
  • When I realize I am beautiful. In and out. I smile.
  • When I know that I am a little crazy and sufficiently weird. I smile. 
  • And when I can see that I am different and unique. I can't stop smiling.

So what is it that is making you smile? Whatever it is, keep smiling always. A smile is one curve that sets everything straight!

Keep Smiling! Always! It looks good on YOU!:)

Have a great day! God bless! :)

Remember - It is very easy to stay negative and sad and depressed, but it takes efforts to be happy and to smile. But it is worth it! Smile. Today, tomorrow and always!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013


Okay! I guess there are enough 'DO' lists that you have to deal with in life already. DO maintain silence. DO stand in line. DO switch off your mobile. DO pay your bills. DO take a walk. DO read my blog! So I won't burden you with any more of the Do's! I am gonna tell you somethings that you should DON'T! No matter what! And come what may! Even if you have to pay with your life, DON'T ever, ever, EVER do what I'm telling you to DON'T do! Read On!

  • DON'T ever take anyone, I mean ANYONE in life for granted. You never know when they'll leave you for good. Forever. And trust me there will be nothing you can do about it. Value people. More.

  • DON'T cuss! I mean don't cuss so much and so often that people stop taking you seriously. You want that to happen. Do you? And hey! Please show some respect to women and chuck out MC, BC from your vocabulary! Please?

  • DON'T ever, ever tell your deepest and darkest secrets to your BFF! Remember, your Best Friend Forever today could turn to a Best Foe Forever tomorrow! Trust me, it doesn't take much for the biatch (okay! I am allowed to cuss, since I am the author and finisher of this post - No?) anyway talking about the biatch -  it doesn't take long for the biatch to show her true colors, eventually! So, please keep your stuff to yourself! Or better, you can tell me! And I promise I won't tell anyone. I promise.

  • DON'T ever share your password with anyone! No never ever! Sharing password is like sharing undies. Would you wanna do that? Ever? Now it is a totally different story that I had to share it thrice. Twice the undies, and once the password. And trust me, all three times I had to! I had no other option! Really! Learn from my mistakes and share neither!

  • DON'T react and post the first thing that comes to your mind on Facebook! You have no clue as to how fast news travels these days! And please don't think people don't check your profile and stuff. They've actually got their eyes on you! Yes you!

  • DON'T ever, ever, ever, ever EVER tattoo ANYONE'S name! EVER! Trust me! People are just not worth it! Be it your BF, GF, BFF, mom, dad, brother, sister, teacher, preacher, your name or just anyone! You never know when the love flies out of the window and when you may end up getting divorced or your parents remarry or you decide to change your name or that person dies or you die or whatever! Never tattoo anyone's name! Period! End of the story! Also, if you have to tattoo, do something nice. Tattooing God on one arm and satan on the other, doesn't make much sense, does it?

  • DON'T ever pee on the road. Applies to all the genders. You never know when the CIA decides to post your pics while you're doing the act on the world wide web!

  • DON'T scratch in public either! It's as bad as peeing! Someone may be videotaping you. Maybe me. Who knows? 

  • DON'T shoot or upload or post embarrassing videos of yourself! Ever! Even if you end up shooting one, don't ever upload or post it! While making the video you might feel all goody goody and proud of yourself and blah blah! Its not your fault though! Camera makes you do weird things and you don't even have to be drunk! But trust me, you'll repent later. Coz by the time you open your eyes and smell the coffee, the video is viral already! I did it once, and trust me the damage it did to my self esteem was horrendous.I am still reeling under the aftereffects. However, you are free to shoot or upload or post nasty and embarrassing videos of others. Just make sure you don't get into trouble!

  • DON'T belch or fart or burp in public. Never loudly! If you do, admit, apologize and smile. They may hate the odour, but your respect would have shot up the roof. Trust me! So what if you end up being the butt of jokes at the lunch break, you've earned respect, remember?

Okay! That's enough gyaan for a post I guess! I have some more of the DON'Ts for you. If you want me to take this saga further, mail me at or message me on my fan page on FB here. Lemme know if you like it or hate it or what you think of it!

Okay! Enough now! DON'T give me this look! Okay? Which look? This look! Here:

Sunday, January 27, 2013

The Dark Knight Saga

You meet a random person and start talking. What happens next?

Stalking random people on FB the other day,
Did I meet this Inglorious Basterd that one day!

He seemed to be normal, a perfect Pulp Fiction,
Till he told me that he was Batman who had an addiction.

He is the God Father who dreams of the Punjab,
The land where he wants to till and then ultimately, Kill Bill!

He has a thing for Italy he tells me,
He also has a thing for jazz, I tell you.

Does he love Catwoman? I dunno!
But his love for Reservoir Dogs, I sure do know!

He tells me that he is a figment - A figment of my imagination.
And that he doesn't really exist - except in the distant conversations!

At times, his nonsense comforts the distressed me.
At the other times, his sense confuses the schizophrenic me

He lives his life by a logic and a reason.
He believes in karma and that karma, is an effing bitch!

His deity is the dainty Sulgobari amma,
Who called out to him to save this dying world on a Jumma.

He is the wiseman, at least he says so.
For me, he is the nutty friend I know!

That day I think I nearly killed him,
When innocently I beseeched him,

So, the Batman is the Dark Knight, eh?
He banged his head on the wall in total dismay!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers 
by BlogAdda.

This post is also a dedication to the Batman, a friend I met recently.

Men On My Mind : Book Review

Men On My Mind is a book by Radha Thomas as she takes on a journey to attain the unattainable. A quest for the unquenchable. A reach for the unreachable. A search for the unsearchable. The discovery of the PERFECT man! Like he exists! As if he exists! IFF he exists! Most women I know, know that there is no such thing as a Perfect man! Only imperfect morons! 

But unlike me, Radha did believe in the perfect man. One by one she scanned them on the pages of her life. First came Darren. Packed off by her family to a distant boarding school at Panchgani, Darren was like an oasis in the middle of the desert. Only that, Darren wasn't the only oasis Radha quenched her thirst from! When she realized the squeaky ratterty blabberty Darren wasn't quite the man for her, she left him barren for Johnny AND Sunil and a string of other guys. When Johnny and Sunil realise that Radha had been two timing them, they kill themselves! No! I was kidding. They ask her in unison, bol Radha bol tune yeh kya kiya? Kidding again! Anyway, while jumping from man to man, she also jumped from one best friend forever to another best friend forever.

When she had enough of Panchgani and Bombay, her family packs off to the capital city - Delhi. Here again she meets and makes new boyfriends and best friends forever. She also meets those creepy uncle types who have a thing for her. And how she avoids them. It is in Delhi that she takes up the mike on a big stage and discovers that singing is her passion - a passion apart from the guys in her life.

Bombay. Panchgani. Delhi. And she still hasn't found what she was looking for! None of these places seem to have satiated her. Forget the perfect men, they weren't even close to perfect! When someone seemed like he was the perfect one, it turns out that he seemed to be closet gay. A fact that he hadn't recognized or perhaps reconciled with. Yet. Radha was distraught. She had given up on man and mankind. Life was very hard for her. Indeed.

Her over protective but cool mom, cool - coz she smoked. Pretty cool for a mother, na? Okay! Her over protective and cool mom thought that her only daughter was throwing away her life to the dogs quite literally, here in India and so she decides to pack off the daughter to her sister in the USA with the strict warning - keep her away from guys! This sister - Radha's aunt, lived with them for a while when they were in Bombay. This excites Radha. The US meant new life, new freedom, new culture new best friend forever and of course new men! Also, this aunt of her's was a pretty cool one. The I'm sexy and I know it kinds.

In the US, she picks up the pieces of her life. And starts her life anew. New location, new people, new surroundings, new job. She starts working at her aunt's boutique. And then she switches her job, her men; moves to China, Fiji, New Zealand for a while, all for business purposes. Spends a night in the jail. All along the while, she keeps her hunt going on for the perfect man. From the land of Kamasutra that she is, can we expect her to give up so soon? No! Her sojourn leads her to a variety of men. Philosophers, lawyers, mathematicians, Mohammed Edward Ranganathan Goldberg (don't be carried away by the name - he is one guy), Greeks, geeks and nerds, Irish, Sociologists, tattooed guys, Tamil scholars, a friend from India, serial killers, singers with bands and a French guy. Which one of all of the above finally manage to thrill her? Which one of them is hers? Which one of them is the perfect man? Does she find out? Does she get lucky? Or is she heartbroken and scarred forever? You'll know. All in good time. When Radha decides to tell you. Her way. Her style. Wickedly funny and fruityly flirtatious is the book Men On My Mind by Radha Thomas!

Obviously, Men On My Mind isn't a moral science handbook, but it keeps you hooked as the author takes you on her roller coaster journey. Her life. A light read, a lovely company especially on journeys. I liked it and I think you'll like it too!

This post is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

At Last

You wake up, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror.
After a long and a tiring night, Holly wakes up and goes to the bathroom. With her eyes barely open, she fidgeted for a while for the light switch while she looked at the mirror. 
The memories of previous day come flooding to her mind. It was a super exhaustive day. So much done. So much to do. So much running around. So many thoughts and emotions on her mind. Nervousness. Elation. Anxiety. Enthrallment. Confusion. Happiness. Torment. Enthusiasm. Longing. Impatience. Fear. Hope. Worry. Hysteria. She had always been a bundle of nerves. But this day was different. It was the day she had been waiting for since time immemorial. It was her day. Her time under the sun. She was her happiest. Ever! It was everything that she had dreamed of. It was perfect. Too good to be true. It was the stuff that dreams were made of. She was happy. Very happy.
Everyone told her she looked beautiful. And Holly knew it was true. She was such a beauty after all! She was perfect in every way. The men loved her. She was every man's dream come true. And every woman's nightmare. The women hated her. She was way too perfect for them. She was smart, intelligent, beautiful. She was everything they were not. 
Holly felt good about herself. She was happy. She was day dreaming. Right in front of the mirror. Smiling and giggling to herself. She broke into tears. She thanked God for everything. He had given her everything she ever wanted. He had blessed her. He was always there for her. When everything around her seemed to give away, her God strengthened her. Her faith led her like a small lamp in a dark forest. God didn't show her everything at once, but He gave enough light for the next step to be safe. She trusted her God with her life. She relied on Him for all her important decisions in life. And this was the biggest of them all. She broke into a smile. She was happy. Very happy.
Holly was laughing, talking, smiling all by herself. She didn't realize how long this monologue was going on. She loved monologues. It gave her time to think. To be thankful. To be grateful. To mourn. To celebrate. It gave her time for everything. That is just when the morning alarm rang in the bedroom and zapped her back to reality. Holly ran to the bedroom and turned off the alarm. She gave a peck to Gerry and glanced at him as he lay comfortably on their bed. All snuggled up. She felt jealous. Keeping aside her jealously she rushed back to the kitchen to make breakfast. It was their first breakfast together after the wedding. And she wanted it to be special. She loved her Gerry. But her Gerry loved her more. Thanking God for her Gerry, she boiled a kettle of water for the coffee. Everything was perfect. The wedding. The first dance. The gown. He. Everything. He was the perfect one for her. He was her everything. Everything. She was happy. Very happy.
Holly couldn't thank her God enough. No, never!

This post was a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers 
by BlogAdda and it was featured as the best entry. Here is the link: WOW Winners.

This post is also a dedication to all the girls who grew up on happily ever afters, 
to all those who believe in the magic of love and marriage, like me!

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