Sunday, November 29, 2009

Epiphany


Turned 23 recently, and yet I feel that there is one person I am desperately trying to know and understand. The closer I get to that person; the harder it becomes for me to figure it out. And the more and more deeply am I falling in a love-hate relationship!! Life looks like a series of epiphanies to me now!! But who's complaining??!! 'Coz I am loving it!! After all what's the hurry?? I've got as long as forever with me!!

Now, before you frame a picture of a Prince Charming from Far - Far Land riding on his snow white-white horse coming to me and rescuing me with true love's first kiss from a tall-tall castle guarded by gnomes-and-what not; lemme tell you that the person I wanna get skin deep with is none other than me!! Duh!! I know, I know you were expecting me to spill out a love story in here, but hey what's the hurry, huh?? Love stories can wait!! Loving me can't!!

Do I sound like a narcissist?? Well, I guess loving oneself isn't a crime no?? And I guess I am pretty much modest, so no chance of a "I Rock" brigade in here! So, you could stay on and read more, 'coz I pretty much dislike narcissists too, I know what they do and so I won't be torturing you with "I, Me, Myself" remarks!!

Hmmm, well getting knowing me or shall I say trying to know me, hasn't been easy; so much that I feel bad that I haven't be able to figure me out! After all, I have been with me for the longest time now! But hey! It was, and is an amazing experience - to see me blossom into what I am and what I am not. Where ever I go and whom ever I meet, they always say, "Jincy, you are one of a kind. We'll never meet another antique piece as you!!" I just smile and tell them, "Join the club, buddy!!" I so totally agree with them! There is just one me! I know it sounds so cliche-d! But, if you do know me; you'll get an idea of what I am saying. And for those who don't know me that well; donot get into the "Is she an enigma??" kinda trail!! Just pull in your sails; and sit back!

Knowing me hasn't been easy on me; I wonder how easy will it be on you. One day I am best friends with me, and on the others- A Perfect Stranger! I love myself though - inspite of all the times that I am bad and rude, and the stupid things that I say and do, the goofballs that I keep throwing around everywhere and anywhere, and how I somehow always manage to make a complete fool (popat) of myself. I really, really wonder how I manage this feat! Someone please help me!! These are the times that I wanna run away, run away from me! As if that's possible ever!! But never say never yet..'coz you never know where science may take you!! The likes of me are desperately waiting in line! Science, you listening??!! But I guess, I better accept me as I am; and rather love myself more and more for the other good and not so embarrassing things that I am and I could be!!

Oooh!!! It's getting mushy in here!! With so much of loving flowing, from Me to Myself!! Well, what are the good things that I could tell you, huh?? I just can't seem to be able to do it...you know...I mean how could I say goody-goody stuff about me?? Huh! I wonder how they (read narcissists) do it. Would like to enroll with them someday!! Anyway, forgetting the forgettables and getting to me; well, since I am still doing me and since I haven't done me yet, I wouldn't be able to tell you much. But one thing I am pretty sure of...

That wherever I go, whatever I do; people are always gonna love me, all of them will have atleast one good thing to tell about me. They will always wear a smile whenever they'll think of me. And on my grave, they will again encore, "Jincy, you were one of a kind. We never met another antique piece as you!!" and then maybe add another line, "Jincy, we love you and we will miss you!" Sadly enough, I won't be there to hear it though! But there is one thing that I could surely do - Live a life that would make it hard for people to forget me, and always remember me in a good and a positive way. I believe I am on the right track so far, should I stumble and fall, I know that there would be people (read friends) to give me a hand and take me home and remind me of my goal. You will be there na?? 'Coz I am counting on you friend...

Stay Precious and God Bless!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Charlie's Angels!!! :)



No, this isn't about the Cameron Diaz - Drew Barrymore - Lucy Liu movie...this is about the real life Angels...no time for fantasy figures and movie stuff in here!!! And for the matter of fact, I haven't even seen the movie yet!! So, please excuse me!!

Hmmm, I always felt that the older you get, the lesser friends (read good friends) you make; but I guess I am wrong. The Charlie's Angels that I am talking about, are - Chits, Rams and Me that make great pals at the workplace. We're always seen and heard together, as if joined at the hip!! And before you wanna know more - lemme tell you one thing - yes, there's no Charlie - just the Angels, 'coz we don't need any Charlie!!! Why have the guys (aka losers), when girls can have all the fun!!

Hmmmm, now forgetting the guys forever and getting to the Angels, let me take you to Chits - Hmmm, she's loud; she's clear; she's got this "foot in the mouth" syndrome most of the times; even when she's in her softest voice, it sounds like a thud!!! I hope she isn't reading this!!! But however or whatever she is, I zimply love this girl!! We are complete contrasts in every sense...she's fat, I'm thin; she's loud, I'm soft; she's smart, I'm stupid (yes, I am!); she's workaholic, I'm a lazy bum; she's bad (!), I'm good (not wrong to praise oneself, no?); and yet we're great pals!!! One thing in common though is that we both are stone deaf; and that we love each other dearly, no Chits??? Please say yes baby!!!

Now coming to Rams, hmmmm...before I met this Angel, I was under the "Am I the sweetest girl on earth or what!!??!!" thing going on, but one meeting with this girl and I am like "Wow!! There are people sweeter that me!!! So not fair!!" That's Rams for you!!! She is so god-damn sweet that ugghh!!! what do I tell you!!! Getting to meet her and be with her, is like getting in touch with the kid in me once again...waving at aeroplanes zooming past in the sky, wishing and hoping that I would see it once again...getting wet in the rain...cracking silly and dumb jokes and just laughing my ass out...and then wanting to pee 'coz I've laughed so much!!! Thanks Rams, love you sweetie!!!

Hmmm...coming to me...well I leave that to you, you go figure out me...what's the hurry boss!!!

Being and meeting these girls has been one of the good things that's happened to me lately. We laugh-eat-walk-sob-fight-bitch-run-wave-sing-do everything else- together!!! It is as if I have got to be a child once again...splashing around in the rain; me walking barefoot all the way till the railway station one rain soaked November evening; missing trains on purpose so that we could laugh a little more, a little longer; and then cussing 'coz the next train is only after 20 minutes!! but smiling inside 'coz I get to be with my girlfriends a little bit longer...I'm pretty sure that these are the days that I'm gonna treasure for a real long, long time...that's what it feels like to be one of the Charlie's Angels...what say Chits and Rams?? and I know that there's lot more surprises in store for me!!! Bring it on baby!!!

Love you!! :)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Hmmmm...


When I Clicked on "New Post" this time, I had no clue about what should pen down...I was like "Yaar! kya likhu??!!" I mean I have got so many things running around in my head, that threading them into words is like "Urgh!!"
Hmmm...well like always, I am totally clueless and confused about what to share, which shouldn't be surprising 'coz "confused" has always been apt for my middle name, or for that matter my first name too!! Hmmm...why am I so confused? Well, I really dunno!!
I guess it's good to be confused, na?? I mean what's the fun if you always knew "What next??!!" Life would be no doubt easier, but we'd miss out on so much fun!! I mean it's good to scrape your knees and slip in a while before that long race! So what if I don't have any knee cap left?? I am still standing tall!!
Why do we still want to put on our training wheels?? Why are we afraid to take our time to goof up, to fall, to learn, to grow, to wander, to love? Why?? I really wanna know...maybe it's because we're expected to be "purrfect" always...maybe we're so obsessed with who and what we are that we forget that it is okay to look like a fool sometimes, isn't it?? I mean if you can put up a smile on someone's face, even if it makes you feel like a clown...it's good na?? We are so busy maintaining our images that we don't wanna create something new and bold for ourselves...we always wonder "What will they think??" Why do we let so many they's rule our life?? Why can't we rule our own, huh?? Why??
Hmmmm...these are the questions that keep shuffling around in people's heads...sadly they have the answers too...somehow we don't wanna know the answer...I guess I know the answers too...it may just be that I love being blind folded and living this life...it is so much more fun-er and surprising, no?? Hmmm....what say??

We have one life to live, So much to give,
And so much to share.
There is love to be found, just look around,
There's happiness there...!!!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Why Do I Blog??



Hmmmm...thinking...wondering...doing all that I can do to figure out why did I start Blogging?? Is it to keep up with the times?? No - 'coz I guess people are doing this since ages!!! I am pretty late actually, it could be because I am a slow learner...

Hmmmm...then why do I blog?? Is it because people are too busy to hear and have a word with me?? No - Thank God!! I have people around me who always wanna hear what I wanna say! So much that they won't even tell me if they are bored!!

Hmmmm...then why do I blog?? Is it to advertise myself?? Oh no!! I could be the shyest (I hope that's a word) person around!!!

Then why do I blog?? Maybe 'coz I get a domain for myself in this virtual world...I get to be "me"...I get to have a monologue, instead of a dialogue...Mind you, monologues are good!! 'coz I get to think...I get to get deeper and deeper and probe into myself...I get to find me...Don't you think?? We keep saying that we are looking for our soul mate...but are we really?? I guess we are just looking for someone to help us understand ourselves better...but I guess we are too proud to admit that...So am I looking to understand and know myself better?? Maybe I am, maybe I am not...I really don't know...

Maybe that's why I blog...to help "me" know "me" better...

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