I once dreamed.
About a beautiful life.
A life that was perfect.
Too perfect to be true.
A life with you.
I dint have much to brag about.
Riches, fame, name I had none.
But I had life.
I had hope.
I had faith.
I had love.
I needed nothing else.
No, not one.
It was faith that I had.
Faith in you.
Faith in me.
Faith in everything around me.
But that night.
That one dark and scary night.
They took it all away.
In an instant.
I cried, I yelled, I begged.
But they were too stone hearted, they were deaf!
They were heartless.
They were worthless.
They were nothing less of a beast.
They came prowling in the night like a thief.
They turned me into chaff in the wind.
They killed me that day.
They conquered my body that night.
They can't kill me anymore.
'Coz I am in a place that knows no gore.
My body they burnt, but my spirit soared.
Into the hands of God who knows it all.
They may think they'll get over this shame.
But trust me, they'll never live through this pain.
I am no more now.
All thanks to them.
But I once dreamed about many things and a few.
That one day I'd start my life anew.
This post was a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative
for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda and it got selected among the top
three entries for WOW. Here is the link: WOW winners.
This post is also an attempt to try and understand what that girl went through.
Her thoughts, her fears, her anger, her hopes, her hopelessness, her anxieties,
her emotions. Nobody will ever know what she went through. Nobody.
A picture is worth a thousand words they say.
But this one's worth a million.
Just yesterday was her first birthday.
My princess, my darling, my baby.
I still remember that day.
She was dressed in my favorite color.
She was dressed in Yellow.
Today she has grown up.
My princess, my darling, my baby.
Is no more a baby.
She is stubborn, headstrong and silly.
Just like me.
The tiny little tot that she once was.
She was so very mellow.
I loved her then.
I love her now.
I'll love her till the end.
I love her for her madness.
I'll love her till she forgets her sadness.
I'll love her till her heart fills with gladness.
I love her just the way she is.
She fills my life with laughter.
She drives me mad by her endless chatter.
She took me back to my youth.
When life wasn't lived by the book.
She taught me that it is okay to cry.
She takes me by my hand.
She makes me dance like I am in some band.
She reminds me of her.
The beautiful lady I wed.
They look so alike.
I am glad they both are mine.
She is nothing like her.
Yet, I love my little girl for being her.
She adds life to my years.
I remember plaiting her hair daily.
And packing her bags and walking her to school lazily.
Soon I'd walk her down the aisle too.
All that would remain are the memories.
My little girl and her lovely stories.
Each time I think I'm close to knowing.
She keeps on growing.
Do I know what she feels?
Does she breathe the same fears I breathe?
Do I know what's in her mind?
Does she know what's in mine?
Do I know if she's happy?
Does she know if I am?
Do we know anything at all?
Very soon my little princess will be gone.
To another lad with whom her heart belongs.
I hope he treats her like a queen.
And never makes her heart bleed.
I'll pretend to the world I'm fine.
When my girl slips out of my shrine.
She made my home so divine.
I'm afraid that day may come too soon.
And my little girl will be gone too soon.
I'll hide my fears and my tears.
'Coz I don't want to let her know.
Her happiest day may just be my saddest.
She won't be home fooling around anymore.
She'd be under someone else's roof, she with her madness.
I'll miss my little girl too much.
Slipping through my fingers all the time.
I gently sit down for a while.
I feel I'm gonna lose her forever.
I'm glad that I could share her laughter.
That funny little girl.
That silly little girl.
My Daughter, My Princess, My Girl.
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative
for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda
This poem is also about what a father feels for his daughter who was once so little but now is all set to leave him for another home, another shoulder, another hand, another man. The emotions behind it. The pain behind it. Through the eyes of the father who secretly wishes that he could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time.
I had tears while writing this poem, I wonder what my daddy will go through when he's walking me down the aisle.
And yes, my dad plaited my hair when I was in school.
One fine day,
Fairness creams would be a thing of the past.
Love and care would actually last.
There would be more love letters than divorce papers.
More birthday bells than death knells.
Cancer would be just a sun sign.
Someone would tell me 'Be Mine' till the end of time.
One fine day,
Everything would make perfect sense
Including those long lost days of nonsense.
Everyone would have their fill
And no man would ever take ill.
There would be pills
That don't come with lengthy bills.
One fine day,
Orphanages and old age homes would stay shut
'Coz everyone would have a home and a hut.
There would be no tear in the eyes
Nor fear in the skies.
People would believe in dreams,
And not just some empty screams.
One fine day,
Everything would be alright
Things would work just right.
Time and tide would change the night
Into a bright glowing daylight.
Heaven's last war would be won
And Hades and hell would be none.
One fine day,
Everything would make perfect sense
In this world of utter nonsense.
Everything would be perfectly fine
One fine, perfect day.
Things may not look good today. but everything will be perfectly good one fine day...
The best thing in life is her smile; that feels so divine,
And lies to the world that she is fine.
She lost her folks when she was nine,
Since then her world wasn't really fine.
Yet she grew better like the wine, with the time.
She has all the reasons in the world to whine,
Yet she's thriving like the vine, laughing all the time.
Lying to the world she is fine.
I wonder why life's been so hard on her.
I wonder how she keeps her cheer.
I wonder if God sees her tear,
I wonder if He can feel her fear.
In her heart I see no guile,
All I see, is a teary smile.
That tells me she isn't really fine.
She looks forward to each new day,
In her heart she feels so gay,
And that feeling gets her through each day.
Sometimes she weeps inside, all day and night,
With nobody around in sight.
She feels so lost and so alone,
But sometimes she senses an angel forlorn,
Who wipes her tears and quietens her fears.
She prays and believes that things will be fine.
She teaches me lessons of life,
That mountains can be moved with steadfast faith.
Riches and glory she has none,
Yet she counts her blessings, one by one.
And tells me it is so much fun,
To run around soaking up the sun.
She clings onto her Savior so tight,
Believing that He will provide,
No matter the time or the tide.
She calms my fears and draws me near,
Whispering in my ear, 'Things may be stormy now,
But tomorrow will be bright and clear filled with lot of cheer.'
After all, every dark stormy rain is followed by the yellow sun's blazing glare.
The best thing in life is her smile; that feels so divine,
And lies to the world that she is perfectly fine.
(This poem is a dedication to those who have nothing much to brag
about in life, but the lives they live is worth bragging about!)
Walking was she on a dark empty road,
Fear written on her face in bold.
Got in she on an unfamiliar mode,
She was the only girl in the fold.
Curious eyes glanced at her,
Stripping her, of her self worth.
Why oh Why? Please tell me why?
Why do YOU, stare at her?
Letting go of the fear inside,
She took a deep breath and smiled.
Her face looked calm and divine,
She prayed she would be fine.
She saw a familiar face from her hood,
That really made her feel so good!
She smiled she wasn't the only one she said,
Who chose to walk the road ahead.
Tired she was after her day's work,
She had her kids waiting for her.
She knew it was getting too late,
Yet she knew she had to wait.
Her legs were getting too faint,
As she tugged along with the weight.
She rested her feet on the ground,
She sat down without a making a sound.
She saw her home far away,
She built her hope on the way.
She pulled herself from the ground,
She traced back her steps around.
She reached her home late that night,
She saw her kids were sleeping tight.
Heaved she did a sigh of relief,
It strengthened her flailing belief.
She thanked her God for keeping her safe,
'Coz down the road she was feeling so afraid.
She knelt down on her sore knees,
Tears welled up in her tired eyes.
She joined her hands,
And bowed her head;
'I hope tomorrow is a better day',
Keeping her fingers crossed she prayed.
So many times in life you feel like things aren't going your way, so many times you just wanna give up - give up on people and give up on yourself and give up on everything else. It's like you have one happy day in your life followed by a million not-so-happy ones. Sounds familiar? I really hope not!!
But what is it that you do on these not so happy, but sad and gloomy days? Well, there's loads that you could. For instance you could sit and cry and howl and bawl about how life isn't fair and how God never bothers to answer your prayers..wow that rhymes!! (I know you didn't notice, so just skim back once more) Or you could go sit in a pub and yank out your sob-story to the least interested bartender and maybe even end up lying in your own puke. Or you could just blow up some smoke upwards, waywardly dreaming and hoping it would puff away your sorrow. Or you could just tie a noose around and say you quit once and for all. Or you could just plan a foolproof way to drop atom bombs on the heads of the ones that caused you pain. And then smile gleefully at your adversary's adversity. There are some people around who secretly hope that Osama would be on their speed-dial. Thank God! Osama's still unreachable to the most of us. But do you really think all this would get the long lost happiness back in your life?? No, it wouldn't. I know, you know.
But then, what do you do in times like these? What do we do when there seems to be a no end to our pains and misery? Well, you could talk to a good friend; or wait - you could talk to your best friend - God. I do both. And then I realized that...
"We're only seeing the ugly underside of the undone tapestry of our lives that God is weaving - from our limited human view. One day, when we're on the other side, we'll see that those weren't just ugly messy threads and loose ends. We just have to wait patiently to get to the other side - God's side to see it from His view. It is beautiful if we don't interfere. Just remember - pray - but don't interfere. You really don't know enough to interfere."
Yes, you really do not know the way that God chooses to work and weave around our lives. What's mess for you could be turned into the most beautiful thing ever in your life! Just wait and be patient. Just stand still and know that God is in control. And remember - have faith in God and know that whatever happens to us is for our own good, it's just that we cannot see it now. And like my friend said, "The clay doesn't ask the potter what are you making?" What makes you think you can? After all, you're smarter than plain clay, no??
Stay Precious and Blessed!
Smile, 'coz God is truly-madly-deeply in love with you, like no one else ever could or would! :)
God Bless.
