The Little Things That Make Me Smile

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Man by default, is programmed to be sad and negative. Don't believe me? Okay! Take a clean sheet of pure white paper. Took? Make a small dot on it with a black pen. Done? Now, ask someone what do they see. Chances are nine out of ten will say that they see the black dot! No one will tell you that they see the beautiful flawless white paper! NO ONE!! Hence proved. Man is negative by default! Period.

I too am. I am not always a happy person. At times, I am really down the drains. Most of the times actually! Really! But what I like the most about myself is that I don't look for or wait for big things to happen in life to make me happy. I truly believe that it is the small things in life that matter much more than the big ones. Some of the little things that make me smile are:

• When I watch the sun rise or the sun set in its majesty. I smile.
• When I see the full moon looking down on me as I walk on earth. I smile.
• When I pluck ripe red mulberries from my neighbor's tree and eat them. I smile. And when I see my fingers turn blood red with the color of the mulberry, I lick them and I smile even more.
• When a friend who doesn't believe in God believes I am an angel. I smile.
• When I make someone laugh at my expense. I smile.
• When the funny videos I made, makes a someone's day. I smile.
• When I see a baby doing whatever they do. I smile.
• When I think of my babies. I smile.
• When the dream I dreamt last night comes true, though in a weird way. I smile.
• When a friend is having a real bad time (at least they tell me they do - but trust me, it is a teeny weeny thing) I send them thoroughly embarrassing videos of myself just to cheer them up. I smile.
• And when they pull my leg over the stupid video. I curse myself. I smirk. But hey! Who cares! I made someone happy. So I smile again.
• When someone calls me by cute nicknames. I smile.
• When I while away my time building castles in the air. I smile.
• When I look into the mirror and see her making funny faces at me. I smile.
• When the water running down the tap is warm enough for a cold winter's morning. I smile.
• When I see a butterfly fluttering from flower to flower outside my balcony. I smile.
• When I see a parrot or a squirrel on the guava tree right outside my window. I smile.
• When I see the only vacant seat, just for me in a crowded train or a bus. I smile.
• When I get the whiff of freshly made popcorn wafting from the food counter on the railway platform on a cold winter's night at eleven. I smile.
• When I have bhel puri all by myself on my way back home at eleven thirty in the night. I smile.
• When I am late from work and my dad comes to pick me up at the railway station at twelve thirty in the night. I smile.
• When I reach home and find my mother sitting beside the window in the middle of the night waiting for her daughter to come home. I smile.
• And when she goes to the kitchen and makes perfectly cooked, round, salt and peppered omelette just for me. I smile.
• When someone thinks of gifting me pepper spray because I work late in the night. I smile.
• When I reach home safely at night. I smile.
• When I am in the middle of the week, the thought that Friday is just some days away. I smile.
• When I get an SMS telling me that my salary has been credited. I smile.
• When the databases at work crashes and I have nothing to do. I just can't stop grinning!
• When it is a Friday, I can't stop smiling!
• When I play agony aunt to a friend. I make them smile with my positive words and then I smile too.
• When a friend plays agony aunt to me and makes me see sense. I smile!
• When a friend sees me having lunch alone at work, ditches work and comes running to give me company. I smile. Then the friend threatens me, mind you - not request, but threatens me 'Dare you have lunch alone! Call me okay? Else I won't talk to you ever!' I smile even more!
• When someone who hasn't seen me in person, but thinks that I am an amazing person. I can't stop gushing!
• When I accidentally hear my parents praising me. I smile. And then I walk up to them and ask them innocently, 'Did you just call me? I think I heard you guys take my name' They join my drama as they tell me, 'Oh no no! We didn't call you. You must be hearing voices!' and then we all laugh together as one happy family! I smile!
• When my perfect brother tells me that he is proud of me. I cry. And then I smile.
• And then when he gives his sister the tightest bear hug in the world and chokes me, I wanna kill him. I punch him in the tummy, he screams in pain and I smile.
• When I ask my daddy to make tea for me, he scorns 'make it yourself or don't drink' I frown. But then minutes later, he comes to my room with a brimming cup of hot tea. I smile.
• When I look back at the days when my mom was hospitalized for a CT scan, the technician messed things up and my mom was in danger. But she came out safe and alive. I get goosebumps. I smile and thank God that nothing worse happened.
• And after that surgery, my mom couldn't use her hands for a while. So my dad used to plait her long hair. When I used to see him plaiting her hair, I smiled through my tears.
• When a complete stranger recognizes and remembers me from the video I sang in. I feel like a celebrity! I smile.
• When my friends like the small cute cards I made for them. I smile.
• When someone calls out to me just to tell me a hi or a bye. I smile.
• When I think that someone somewhere is made just for me. I smile.
• When I see my parents and family smile because of me. I smile.
• When someone says my blog post has touched their life. I cry. And then I smile.
• When a friend tells me that they have my blog bookmarked so that they can check it everyday. I smile.
• When a friend tells me that I am like a diamond with many faces, and each face reflecting a different light. How can I not smile? I smile!
• When a friend sends me a two liner mail asking me how I've been. I smile.
• When I help someone in the smallest way I can. They smile. I smile too.
• When someone helps me in any way. I smile.
• When I wake up each day. I smile.
• When I wake up on a weekend. I smile wider.
• When a friend mails or messages me just to tell me that my blog post was lovely. I smile.
• I didn't have a barbie doll or a teddy bear while growing up. I didn't have fancy toys either. But when I think of the lovely childhood that I had, I smile.
• When I lose count of my many blessings. I smile.
• When I think of the meaning of my name. I smile.
• My name means God is gracious. And God truly has been gracious to me! How can I not smile? I smile.
• When I realize I am blessed. I smile.
• When someone tells me that I have touched their life in a positive way. I smile.
• When I know that everything will turn out fine one day. I smile.
• When I know I have made someone's day. I smile.
• When I burst those bubbles on a bubble wrap. I smile.
• When my favorite song plays on the TV or the radio or my mobile. I smile.
• When I hear my favorite RJ Keisha on Thursday mornings. I smile.
• When I listen to Owl City's Fireflies or One Direction's What Makes You Beautiful or Katy Perry's Fireworks. I smile.
• When I sing a song and I believe in my heart that I've sung it better than the original singer. I smile.
• When I play some random song on my guitar. I smile.
• When I play the audio clip of me snoring. I laugh my head off. And when I sober down, I smile.
• When I see Shania Twain. I smile. When I see Gerard Butler. My smile gets wider and naughtier.
• When someone smiles at me. I smile.
• When I get a beautiful SMS from someone. I smile.
• When I realize I am alive. I smile.
• When I know my prayers will be answered soon. I smile.
• When I realize how much God loves me. I smile.
• When I am depressed, I count my blessings. And then I am happy. I smile.
• When I am happy. I smile. And make others smile too.
• When someone tells me I have a beautiful smile. I smile. Even more.
• When I realize that some people love me. Just the way I am. I smile.
• When I know I am the reason behind someone else's smile. I smile.
• When I am worried thinking about my anxious tomorrows. The memories of my wonderful yesterdays come to my mind. I take a deep breath. And, I smile.
• When I realize that life goes on. No matter what. I smile.
• When I realized that I have moved on from a pain I never thought I would. I smile.
• When I realize that I am still safe and sound and secure. I smile.
• When I realize I am beautiful. In and out. I smile.
• When I know that I am a little crazy and sufficiently weird. I smile. 
• And when I can see that I am different and unique. I can't stop smiling.

So what is it that is making you smile? Whatever it is, keep smiling always. A smile is one curve that sets everything straight!

Keep Smiling! Always! It looks good on YOU!:)

Have a great day! God bless! :)

Remember - It is very easy to stay negative and sad and depressed, but it takes efforts to be happy and to smile. But it is worth it! Smile. Today, tomorrow and always!

At Last

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You wake up, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror.

 

 

After a long and a tiring night, Holly wakes up and goes to the bathroom. With her eyes barely open, she fidgeted for a while for the light switch while she looked at the mirror. 

 

The memories of previous day come flooding to her mind. It was a super exhaustive day. So much done. So much to do. So much running around. So many thoughts and emotions on her mind. Nervousness. Elation. Anxiety. Enthrallment. Confusion. Happiness. Torment. Enthusiasm. Longing. Impatience. Fear. Hope. Worry. Hysteria. She had always been a bundle of nerves. But this day was different. It was the day she had been waiting for since time immemorial. It was her day. Her time under the sun. She was her happiest. Ever! It was everything that she had dreamed of. It was perfect. Too good to be true. It was the stuff that dreams were made of. She was happy. Very happy.

 

Everyone told her she looked beautiful. And Holly knew it was true. She was such a beauty after all! She was perfect in every way. The men loved her. She was every man's dream come true. And every woman's nightmare. The women hated her. She was way too perfect for them. She was smart, intelligent, beautiful. She was everything they were not. 

 

Holly felt good about herself. She was happy. She was day dreaming. Right in front of the mirror. Smiling and giggling to herself. She broke into tears. She thanked God for everything. He had given her everything she ever wanted. He had blessed her. He was always there for her. When everything around her seemed to give away, her God strengthened her. Her faith led her like a small lamp in a dark forest. God didn't show her everything at once, but He gave enough light for the next step to be safe. She trusted her God with her life. She relied on Him for all her important decisions in life. And this was the biggest of them all. She broke into a smile. She was happy. Very happy.

 

Holly was laughing, talking, smiling all by herself. She didn't realize how long this monologue was going on. She loved monologues. It gave her time to think. To be thankful. To be grateful. To mourn. To celebrate. It gave her time for everything. That is just when the morning alarm rang in the bedroom and zapped her back to reality. Holly ran to the bedroom and turned off the alarm. She gave a peck to Gerry and glanced at him as he lay comfortably on their bed. All snuggled up. She felt jealous. Keeping aside her jealously she rushed back to the kitchen to make breakfast. It was their first breakfast together after the wedding. And she wanted it to be special. She loved her Gerry. But her Gerry loved her more. Thanking God for her Gerry, she boiled a kettle of water for the coffee. Everything was perfect. The wedding. The first dance. The gown. He. Everything. He was the perfect one for her. He was her everything. Everything. She was happy. Very happy.

 

Holly couldn't thank her God enough. No, never!

This post was a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers 

by BlogAdda and it was featured as the best entry. Here is the link: WOW Winners.

This post is also a dedication to all the girls who grew up on happily ever afters, 

to all those who believe in the magic of love and marriage, like me!

Two Weeks Notice

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You go home and check your Emails. You read the second mail and freeze.

 

  

After a hard day's work, Zoey opened her lappy to unwind before she could finally try to get some much needed sleep that was eluding her since that fateful day. She thought of login into Facebook to kill time, but the thought of those million questions from a million friends (?) strangers precisely, put her off. What actually happened? Are you okay? Are you alright? How are you coping? These questionnaires from people who cared a damn was the last thing she wanted on a day as tiring as this one. Thinking of which she sighed. Haven't all days been tiring since that fateful day? Everything had changed. Everything! 

 

She tried not to think about it. And opened her mailbox. Hoping some crappy funny forward would make her laugh or at least smile. The first mail was as she expected - a reminder - that the school fees was due. She read it and then marked it as 'unread' quickly before proceeding to the next mail. The second mail. She read the subject line and then fearing the worst she clicked on it and read the rest of the mail. She froze. In the middle of May, the hot summer of Bombay - she froze. That is what fear does to you. And panic. And worry. And anxiety.

 

It was a mail from the bank that Kevin and she had loaned from almost two years ago. The loan term was up long back, and they hadn't paid up yet. How could she have forgotten? Ah! After all that happened to her over the last couple of weeks, she had every right to forget. And to be forgiven, right? Only if the bank would be as kind. As understanding. As forgetful. As forgiving. If only. Only if. Well, this wasn't the time for self pity. It was the time to act. And quick. Or the bank would throw her out of her house. Her home. Her sanctuary. Her nest. Her dwelling place. Her heaven on earth. They'd kick her out, if need be. No pleading would help. No crying. No nothing. Only crisp currency notes. Nothing else. Nothing less. Nothing more. She lived in a cruel and an unkind world, remember?  Forgive us our debts and sins as we forgive our debtors happens only in the Lord's prayer. Not in reality. Not in Zoey's world. A world that forgives and forgets NO debts and NO debtors. The bank had given her two weeks notice. Two weeks? That's it? Sure faith can move mountains and all. But this was different. A home was involved. A loan. A bank. And huge currency notes.

 

She didn't know what to do. What could she do? Could she ask her parents? NO! That was a bad idea. She had troubled them enough already. They didn't need to hear this! It was her problem, right? Not theirs! Only if. If only! If only Kevin was still here with her, he would find a solution. He would find a way. He would calm her down. If nothing, he would make her laugh - yes, he had an uncanny way of cracking her up even in the most tense situations. He was her anchor. He was the only Mary Jane she ever needed! He was her everything. She had the same effect on him too. If only. Only if. But everything had changed. Everything!

 

She needed some sleep. That was what she did whenever she was too worried. Sleep was her drug. It took her mind off the worry. It bought her time. But sleep's been eluding her since that fateful day. She threw a glance at Kathy and Ruth. They were sleeping blissfully like angels serene and calm, blissfully oblivious to the emotions that were draining their poor single mom. Single mom? No - she wasn't single. She said to herself. Kevin is here. Kev is dead, Zoe! No - he isn't! He is just sleeping! Oh yeah? Who was in the casket then? Voices. She was now hearing voices. Then she saw the images. Images of Kevin being carried to the ICU on a stretcher. The doctors calming her down and asking her not to worry. Not to worry? That's my husband in there, alright? Images of the doctors pronouncing him - . She stopped! First the voices and now the images. Was she going mad? Was she mad already? Who knows? She didn't want to go any further. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to accept the reality. She didn't want to move on. She didn't want to live. No, not like this. Everything was happening too quickly for her. Nothing made sense. Nothing! She was fed up of her life. Of herself. Of the kids. Of Kevin. She was fed up of everything!

 

She wanted to die!

 

She looked at her kids. Their kids. The serene faces calmed her for a moment. She saw Kevin in the innocent faces. Thousands of thoughts were running through her head. Just then an idea hit her. She scampered to the kitchen to find something strong and sharp. Yes, a knife. A sharp knife. A sharp knife would do the trick! And quick! That was what she was looking for, precisely. And bingo! She found one in the kitchen sink. She washed it clean, carefully. She looked at her own reflection on the sharp, sparkling knife. She wished for her Kev. She wished that he was there. She wished that he wouldn't have left her alone back here. She knew what she had to do now. The job was very easy. Nothing too tough for a lady. Had Kevin been here, she may never would have had thought of doing this. He would have given her a more practical idea. He would have found another way out of this. Like he always did. Not something as stupid and dumb and silly as this! She knew she was doing something stupid, but she didn't know what else to do. This seemed like her only way out. She had to give this a shot. She had to try it. She had to do it. And she had to do it NOW! No other way. She knew she was being very foolish. But she had no other option! There was an eerie silence. A silence that scared her. The thoughts and the voices kept haunting her. Ignoring them, she ran back to the room where the kids were sleeping. Ah! They were still sleeping! She rushed to the cupboard and opened the door without making a sound. She didn't want to wake them up. Kathy could get cranky. And that was the LAST thing she wanted tonight!

 

She emptied the cupboard almost immediately. And then she found what she was looking for. The tin money box. It was a gift from Kevin's mom on their wedding. She advised them to start saving from the beginning of their marriage. And then, she handed them this tin money box to inspire them. She laughed. You are so dumb. You think this stupid tin will have enough money to pay back the loan? You're nuts Zoe! Voices. She heard voices again. She ignored. She quickly took out the knife and pierced the box. All the loose change and some currency notes fell down. She was really nuts to think that some loose cash would settle the loan! She wanted to scream and cry. But she couldn't. She had to show the world that she was strong. She had to live it up for Kathy and Ruth. But she had given up. Almost.

 

Almost!

 

She gave a cold look at the sharp knife she still had in her shaky hand. And then. And then something extraordinary happened. A miracle. Yes, you can call it a miracle. A mutual fund certificate and a note stapled to it dropped from the box. How could she not have seen it? She had emptied the tin box, hadn't she? She wiped her tears and sat down to read the note. She froze again, her body. But her soul was warming up. It was a short note from Kevin. He told her about a mutual fund that he had invested in long back. Mutual funds? Why didn't you ever tell me about it Kev? Why? Kevin knew that Zoey would hound him for not telling her! So he explained to her in the note - Zoe, I didn't tell you about the mutual fund earlier because I was actually saving up for our second honeymoon on our tenth anniversary next year. I knew you always wanted to go to Rome. I was saving up for that. I wanted to surprise you sweetheart! But hey! If ever you come across this note and I am not around and if you need money desperately, please feel free to redeem this certificate. I have made you a nominee and all the instructions as to how to redeem it are at the back of the certificate. And cheer up! If not the honeymoon, I am sure this hard earned money can be used for something better. Maybe you can redeem it to pay off the loan. Or maybe for Kathy's and Ruth's education. Something! Anyway, I am sure that my pretty wife is pretty smart and would use this money wisely. And remember - Faith, Love and Hope, like I always told you! Love you loads Zoe. Your's, Kev. 

 

Yes - Faith, Love and Hope. Faith, Love and Hope will get you through anything and everything. Calm down! Cheer up! It isn't THAT bad, trust me! If nothing else, trust God! He's got it all figured out. Even though we haven't! Yet! Her Kev always said that. Today she had proof! Proof that faith, love and hope are still alive. Proof that faith, love and hope is all you need. Proof that miracles do happen. It happened to her.

 

She cried and cried. Loudly. She didn't care if the kids or the neighbors woke up. She cried. Nothing could stop her. Kev, why you love me so much? Why? She didn't have any words. Just incoherent sobs. Kathy and Ruth woke up. They saw their mom crying. They didn't ask why. They knew what daddy meant to mommy. They just hugged her and the three of them cried thinking about their daddy, their best friend, their Kev. It went on for a while and then when they fell asleep, they didn't realize.

 

The morning sun's glaring rays filling up the room woke up Zoey. It was like a signal - to start her life anew. She woke up the kids fed them breakfast and told them, 'Mama needs to go to the bank. Ruth, take care of Kathy. I will be back in an hour.' Saying so she put on her favorite summer dress and rushed to the bank. All ready to face the life alone. No, not alone. She had Ruth, Kathy and Kev - yes, Kevin was there. Somewhere! He hadn't gone! No, not yet! She knew him in her heart. And felt him in her soul. With the wind in her hair and the world at her feet and the bounce in her steps, she went to the bank. To reclaim their house. Their home. Their sanctuary. Their nest. Their dwelling place. Their heaven on earth. That was rightfully theirs! She threw a glance upwards and thanked her God and she thanked her Kevin. She was happy. She was alive. She was living. 

 

Faith, Love and Hope - do quite some work, good work, don't they? 

 

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative 
for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

This post is also a dedication to faith, love and hope. These three we can never 
live without! But the greatest of these is love (1 Cor 13:13)

What! Am I?

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As she walked down the street,
She heard people scream.
As she got closer,
She heard them call her names.

She dint know it was a game,
They were looking to defame.
They called her ugly, fat and dumb,
She asked herself, 'What! Am I?'

She believed their every line,
She trusted their empty lies.
She lost herself in the crowd,
She lost the hope that she had found.

As she was walking on way,
She heard those dogs bay.
She heard their muffled voices,
At first she thought it was just some weird noises.

As she walked ahead,
She heard them call her stupid and slow.
And other nasty names in a flow.
And she asked herself again, 'What! Am I?'

She then wondered, 'Am I really ugly, fat and dumb?,
Am I really stupid and slow?'
That's when she heard a voice from inside,
And that voice calmed her from within.

That voice told her the truth,
The truth she had forgotten.
That voice showed her the way,
The way she thought she had lost.

That voice gave her hope,
The hope that she thought had dimmed.
That voice gave her life,
The life that she thought had died.

That voice told her that she was precious and one of a kind.
That she was not what others said she was.
That she was the apple of someone's eye.
That she was perfect just the way she was.

That she was beautiful.
That she was pretty.
That she was funny.
That she was cute.

That she was smart.
That she was God's lovely art.
That she was sweet.
That she was neat.

That she was special.
That she was perfect.
That she was unique.
That she was really the best.

That she made a difference.
That she was cared for.
That she was wanted.
That she made the world a better place.

That she was a gem.
That she was royal.
That she was needed.
That she was one of a kind.
 
She asked herself again, 'What! Am I?'
The voice replied back, 'Yes, you are!'
She smiled and said, 'Amen!
Thanks! Thanks for letting me know!'

Many a times we have people in our life who put us down, call us names and hurt us. And sometimes, it is a friend. It hurts us. But remember that we are not what they call us. We are much better, much much better than they could ever attempt to be! I have had enough of so called 'friends' in my life. And I am grateful to them for calling me names and for telling me that I am good for nothing. For it is their harsh words that got me closer to God and showed me what I really am. And what they really are. Don't believe the lies the world tells you. You are really the best. You are one of a kind. There cannot be another YOU, EVER!

Tears Of An Angel

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The best thing in life is her smile; that feels so divine,
And lies to the world that she is fine.

She lost her folks when she was nine,
Since then her world wasn't really fine.

Yet she grew better like the wine, with the time.

She has all the reasons in the world to whine,
Yet she's thriving like the vine, laughing all the time.

Lying to the world she is fine.

I wonder why life's been so hard on her.
I wonder how she keeps her cheer.
I wonder if God sees her tear,
I wonder if He can feel her fear.

In her heart I see no guile,
All I see, is a teary smile.
That tells me she isn't really fine.

She looks forward to each new day,
In her heart she feels so gay,
And that feeling gets her through each day.

Sometimes she weeps inside, all day and night,
With nobody around in sight.

She feels so lost and so alone,
But sometimes she senses an angel forlorn,
Who wipes her tears and quietens her fears.

She prays and believes that things will be fine.
She teaches me lessons of life,
That mountains can be moved with steadfast faith.

Riches and glory she has none,
Yet she counts her blessings, one by one.
And tells me it is so much fun,
To run around soaking up the sun.

She clings onto her Savior so tight,
Believing that He will provide,
No matter the time or the tide.

She calms my fears and draws me near,
Whispering in my ear, 'Things may be stormy now,
But tomorrow will be bright and clear filled with lot of cheer.'
  
After all, every dark stormy rain is followed by the yellow sun's blazing glare.

The best thing in life is her smile; that feels so divine,
And lies to the world that she is perfectly fine.

(This poem is a dedication to those who have nothing much to brag 
about in life, but the lives they live is worth bragging about!)

Waking Up, Now That September Has Ended!

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Don't hold onto something if you know it's no longer there.

Wake me up when September ends is a song by the American rock band Green Day. In this song, the lead singer - Billie Joe Armstrong reveals his feelings about his father who died in September of 1982, when Billie was just 10. September also is symbolic of the most dreaded act of terrorism against America - the 9/11. The pain of death, anger, sorrow, losing and dying. The pain that September brought with it.

We all have Septembers in our lives. Past hurt. Pain. Someone who doesn't value your worth. Someone who has angered you and insulted you. A bad boss. A bitchy friend. An unruly colleague. Thoughts of evil. Revenge. Pride. Death. Sickness. A wrong and an abusive relationship. Addiction. A worthless job. Bad attitude. Horrible past. Broken relationships. Ego. A broken heart. Depression. Stress. Tension. 

It is up to us to live in the pain or embrace the new life and the new days in store for us. So many times in life we refuse to let go of these former things, and instead we choose to keeping living and fretting over the things of the past that don't really last. Don't let that be YOU!

Don't let Septembers be all that remain with us. Septembers are important, for the simple fact that it is the ups and downs in life that make us stronger, that make us bolder, that make us who we are and what we are, wherever we are. Septembers shape our lives and our personalities - for the better or for the worse. But remember, there are other hues and colors in lives too! If we keep living in our Septembers, we'll never learn to enjoy the flavors the other months bring in. Stay strong. Because things will get better, it might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever!

Treasure everything and everyone one around us, for we never know who will leave us when.

And I'm waking up, now that September has ended! 'Coz life goes on! You too wake up! SOON! Let go! And remember - You'll never find your prince until you are strong enough to leave the frog!

 

  
This post was a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative 
for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda and it got seleted among the top five 
entries for WOW. Here's the link:  
WOW winners for 'Waking Up, Now That September Has Ended!