Epiphany

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Turned 23 recently, and yet I feel that there is one person I am desperately trying to know and understand. The closer I get to that person; the harder it becomes for me to figure it out. And the more and more deeply am I falling in a love-hate relationship!! Life looks like a series of epiphanies to me now!! But who's complaining??!! 'Coz I am loving it!! After all what's the hurry?? I've got as long as forever with me!!

Now, before you frame a picture of a Prince Charming from Far - Far Land riding on his snow white-white horse coming to me and rescuing me with true love's first kiss from a tall-tall castle guarded by gnomes-and-what not; lemme tell you that the person I wanna get skin deep with is none other than me!! Duh!! I know, I know you were expecting me to spill out a love story in here, but hey what's the hurry, huh?? Love stories can wait!! Loving me can't!!

Do I sound like a narcissist?? Well, I guess loving oneself isn't a crime no?? And I guess I am pretty much modest, so no chance of a "I Rock" brigade in here! So, you could stay on and read more, 'coz I pretty much dislike narcissists too, I know what they do and so I won't be torturing you with "I, Me, Myself" remarks!!

Hmmm, well getting knowing me or shall I say trying to know me, hasn't been easy; so much that I feel bad that I haven't be able to figure me out! After all, I have been with me for the longest time now! But hey! It was, and is an amazing experience - to see me blossom into what I am and what I am not. Where ever I go and whom ever I meet, they always say, "Jincy, you are one of a kind. We'll never meet another antique piece as you!!" I just smile and tell them, "Join the club, buddy!!" I so totally agree with them! There is just one me! I know it sounds so cliche-d! But, if you do know me; you'll get an idea of what I am saying. And for those who don't know me that well; donot get into the "Is she an enigma??" kinda trail!! Just pull in your sails; and sit back!

Knowing me hasn't been easy on me; I wonder how easy will it be on you. One day I am best friends with me, and on the others- A Perfect Stranger! I love myself though - inspite of all the times that I am bad and rude, and the stupid things that I say and do, the goofballs that I keep throwing around everywhere and anywhere, and how I somehow always manage to make a complete fool (popat) of myself. I really, really wonder how I manage this feat! Someone please help me!! These are the times that I wanna run away, run away from me! As if that's possible ever!! But never say never yet..'coz you never know where science may take you!! The likes of me are desperately waiting in line! Science, you listening??!! But I guess, I better accept me as I am; and rather love myself more and more for the other good and not so embarrassing things that I am and I could be!!

Oooh!!! It's getting mushy in here!! With so much of loving flowing, from Me to Myself!! Well, what are the good things that I could tell you, huh?? I just can't seem to be able to do it...you know...I mean how could I say goody-goody stuff about me?? Huh! I wonder how they (read narcissists) do it. Would like to enroll with them someday!! Anyway, forgetting the forgettables and getting to me; well, since I am still doing me and since I haven't done me yet, I wouldn't be able to tell you much. But one thing I am pretty sure of...

That wherever I go, whatever I do; people are always gonna love me, all of them will have atleast one good thing to tell about me. They will always wear a smile whenever they'll think of me. And on my grave, they will again encore, "Jincy, you were one of a kind. We never met another antique piece as you!!" and then maybe add another line, "Jincy, we love you and we will miss you!" Sadly enough, I won't be there to hear it though! But there is one thing that I could surely do - Live a life that would make it hard for people to forget me, and always remember me in a good and a positive way. I believe I am on the right track so far, should I stumble and fall, I know that there would be people (read friends) to give me a hand and take me home and remind me of my goal. You will be there na?? 'Coz I am counting on you friend...

Stay Precious and God Bless!