Que Sera Sera

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Dearest Darling Nevaeh,

You've turned TEN today! Whoa! You still seem like a newborn to me! Yeah, yeah! I know you hate it when I tell you that! But you know what, when you reach my age lemme hear you saying that to your daughter! I'm gonna box your ears then! 

Okay, the violence apart, there are a few things I wanna tell you darling. Actually many. You know your mom, right? She just can't say a 'few' things. Can she? Thinking of which - you've got it too! You're as talkative as your mom is! Maybe more! You're like me in more ways than one. Much more than I've ever wanted. It makes me happy, it makes me sad too. You see, your mom isn't perfect. She is flawed. She doesn't want you to make the same mistakes she did. She wants you to be a much better person. And before you become one, here are some pointers dear.

Don't let anyone in this world hurt you or trick you into believing crap. I had enough of such people in my life. I don't want them in yours! I let them hurt me. Tell me crap. That I am good for nothing. That I would never amount to anything. That I am big mess. That I am hopeless wreck. That I am ugly. That I am a nobody. And you know what? Your foolish mom believed every single LIE they said! They killed me, you know? Don't let something like that happen to you. You won't have the good people around you always. In fact, you'll have more of the bad ones than the good. Don't let them mess you up. Remember, God loves you. Your dad and I love you too. We love you just the way you are. With all of your flaws. There is nothing in this world that would or could change the love we have for you. There is nothing you can do to lessen it either. No matter how you are and what you do - remember - We love YOU! ALWAYS!

Don't ever let anybody tell you that you can't do something. Not even us. All right? Don't be afraid to dream dreams. Chase after your dreams. It is dreams that keep us alive. Keep us sane. Keep us going. Your dad and I will help you as much as we can to help you realize your dream. But the first step has to be YOU!

You are precious. You are beautiful. You are the BEST. You are a star. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. You light up our lives. You are the apple of our eye. Period.

Be happy. Always. Don't wait for the big things to happen for you to celebrate. Celebrate every moment of your beautiful life. Find happiness in the smallest of things. The butterfly. The sunny sky. The pouring rain. The smelly fart that your little baby brother just let out. Be happy. Find something funny and beautiful even in the most plain, the most vain, the most strange and the most weirdest of things. And then you'll see what a wonder life is! And then you'll see you'll have more reasons to laugh than to cry. To celebrate than to mourn. To boast than to crib. Keep laughing. Keep smiling. Always!

Don't worry too much. Your mom worries a lot. I hope she hasn't passed it on to you. Don't ever worry about anything. Always remember - nothing is permanent - this too shall pass - the good and the bad. Don't worry about the good that is going away or about the bad that is yet to come. Take life each moment as it comes. Don't live ahead of the moment, nor behind. One day at a time, one mile at a time, one step at a time, one second at a time!

Don't ever give up on faith, hope and love. These are the three most important things that you can EVER have! Trust me! They can get you through the worst of the days and the darkest of the nights. Faith, hope and love has kept me alive. Kept me going. It will keep you too! Just trust and obey! Have faith! Have hope! Have love!

Believe in God. Believe in your parents. We want the best for you. And above all, believe in yourself. Don't believe in the voices that put you down. Believe in the voice that comes from within. It will lift you up. It will calm your fears. It will make you strong. And soon you will soar on wings like eagles. Just Believe!

Lastly, I would love to sing to you a few lines from a song. A song I learnt as a child. A song my teachers and my mother sang to me.

When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be?  
Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be! 
The future's not ours, to see. Que Sera, Sera. What will be, will be!

That's all for now darling! Loads more to tell you. Will tell you everything else, one day at a time! :)

Loads of love and kisses.

Your Best Friend Forever & your Mother,

Maria

This post was a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative 
for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda and it got selected among the top 
three entries for WOW. Here is the link: WOW winners

This post is also a dedication to my darling daughter. Hoping that she'll love it, one day!

This One's For You!

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That Idiota! That monkey! I miss him! He just celebrated his birthday a few days back. He is one person I could die for and if need be, kill for too! He is one person I look up to! Well, I HAVE to! He's too tall for my eye level contact! And yeah! I'm short. So can't really help it anyway! 

We are as alike as chalk and cheese. Opposites in almost everything! He is a calm and a composed person, while I am a bundle of flustered nerves! He measures his words while I keep shooting and slicing and dicing and killing with my lips! No wonder they say empty vessels make more noise!

He is awesome at football and killing countless millions on CS. Counter Strike - yeah - that is the one I hate the most about him. He spends an awful lot of time in front of the computer killing Fanatic, Lunatic, Moonatic and any other tics lurking on the screen! And the awesome human that I am, always make sure I distract him as much as I can till he shuts down the stupid computer and wrestles with me!  

He doesn't have too many friends, but he has the best of the lot! I have too many friends - but the best of the lot - I fear I have none! I envy the way his friends confide in him. Oh I envy him for many other things! He knows his friends inside out. He knows me inside out too. And no matter how much I bribe him to trade his friends' dark secrets, he shares none! No! Not a single one!  

His looks could get him on Gladrags, his dribbling on ESPN Sports Center, his culinary on Masterchef India! He is exactly the kinda guy God puts you in your life to make you look small and pity yourself for the hopeless bummer you are!

Nevertheless, I love him to bits and he, me to pieces! I know there were times I wanted him dead and I bet he felt the same. I guess it's all part of growing up. We don't see eye to eye on most things. We are poles apart in every way. But I am proud of the way he turned out to be. He's everything I wish I'd be! He's everyone's favorite. He's mature, gentle, kind and humble and wise for his age. He's got better like the wine, with the time! And he's such a handsome young man! I am really grateful to God Almighty for a gift as precious as him. I love him loads. I miss him even more. :'(

And though I am not the best, he's the bestest brother I could ever have asked for! 

Happy Birthday my darling, my best friend, my sweetest and cutest and strongest and wisest little brother! May God bless you more and more with each passing day! :) 

  

Dedicated to my awesome brother! And the above pic fits us to the T! :)

A Letter To My BFF :)

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I wrote this to my friend some years back on her birthday. Putting it up here for nostalgia's sake! I hope she doesn't mind!

Hello Sweetheart!

It is 29th June today which makes you 24 years old! Sorry to remind you of your age! Hehehe. But looking at the days gone by and inspecting our lives, sometimes I wonder if we have bloomed into something beautiful and something that would make our parents and our Creator proud. I am not very sure about me; but about you, you Sabrina have turned out quite beautiful. I am quite sure that all the heavenly junta up there must be blowing kisses your way to see what an angel you have been! And I mean it! I am sure that you parents and family and friends feel the same about you too; though they may never show it! You're doing good Sabrina!!

Looking back at our lives together, starting from St. Xavier's we both belonged to the "I have big dreams, but I won't work an inch" group. Well, I must admit you were more brilliant and a hard worker than me though! Both of us wanted to be doctors and that too from Christian Medical College, Vellore! You remember those days, do you? You remember that "Irrevocable Oath" that you made us sign promising that we would work as hard as we can for our 12th boards? Hehe. The plan was great, sadly I guess we began too late! (The so called BOND was signed on 4th February hardly 15 days ahead of our boards! And yet we dreamt of being state toppers (at least I did!)) And that's the magic that friends weave in our lives! They trick you into believing that you can do the un-do-able! That's what you did to me! Made me believe that I could do whatever I ever dreamt of doing! (It’s a completely different thing that I never really succeeded, but this belief got me through those tough times!) Thank you Sabrina for letting me have faith in myself and tricking me into believing that I could do it - so what if it was just a fortnight before the boards! Do you remember how nervous we were before collecting our results? I stayed at your place the previous day and then, we went to college to see our dreaded results on 2nd June. We spent most of the time in the Chapel where we kept re-reading Psalm 127 over and over again! And then when we walked out of the Chapel, we see Mr. Albert walking towards us and wishing us congratulations! You remember that? I do! And for a minute, I thought we were state toppers!! So foolish of me na? If we were state toppers indeed, the Maharashtra State Board would have wished us instead of some bloody Albert!! Hehe

Well, well, well then our beautiful results were out and then you know the rest of the story! I won't traumatise you on your day! Hehe Both of us in spite of appearing for a million medical entrance exams dint manage to get one, I mean ONE seat!!! Hehe. Maybe we have similar grey cell structure too!!

Anyway, you went on to do Nursing and me?? Well as you know I went on to do my Engineering!! Imagine!! Me an ingi-neer?? Both of us hated that, dint we?? Both of us had signed an invisible bond which read "No trespassing into Engineering". And? I still don't believe I am an engineer! I dunno if you do! And I still haven't quite fallen in love with it! Phew!! Diana always said that "God gives you the things you hate so that you learn to love everything!" It maybe right! I dunno! Well talking about Diana; we were four buddies then, Maryann, Diana, you and me. Sadly I do not know the whereabouts of the other two! I really wish I did! Last I know is that Maryann's married, but her phone's unavailable after that! The wedding pics that were supposed to be sent haven't reached my inbox yet! And Diana?!?! God knows about that girl! She changed her number too many times to keep a track!! May call her home one day! Wherever she is I hope she's fine! I wonder if she is married too like Maryann!

Anyway, I am glad that at least the two of us are in touch! Thank God for that! Thanks to you too for keeping in touch despite the distance! And promise me you always will! Well I know you WILL!!! I dunno why I am writing you this long mail. Well, I will keep the thoughts flowing! I know you will take the time out of your busy schedule to reminisce with me!

Looking back at all the years gone by, I suddenly am feeling very old and gray! In a matter of of years or maybe even days, we will be married and having kids! But are we prepared for this huge responsibility? This is one question I ask myself daily. But there are no answers, 'coz only time and circumstance can answer this dilemma of mine! Hats off to our parents for managing their jobs and kids in a wonderful way! We will never ever EVER match up to them! In spite of having more facilities, more education, more knowledge, more of every damn thing than our parents, I am afraid we'll never beat them! And that makes me sad! 'Coz I wanna be a wonderful parent, but I don't see myself doing that! But I hope you do! And I know you WILL!!! You have been great so far and I know you will be for the rest of your days!

I guess it's time I shut my crap and let you get back to your business! I hope I dint take much of your time and even if I did, I guess it's okay! It is not everyday that you get 3-page-long mails from friends! Hehe

Have a wonderful day dear! May God bless you today and always!

Love you loads! Miss you like hell
You know who!