I had been to God's own country - Kerala for three whole weeks and it would really be so not fair if I dint share my travelogue with you. They say, when in Rome do as the Romans do! I say, when in Kerala, do as the Mallus do! So let me list down a few must do things while in Kerala!
1. Go Fishing! Kerala is blessed with so many rivers, lakes, ponds and marsh lands; that you can go fishing anytime and anywhere! Just pop in your fishing rods and there pops out a fish! Also, if you are 20 something pretty young thing, be prepared to be fished (read hit on) by over enthusiastic, over testosteroned, but cute and harmless Mallu fellas! Sadly, I caught none - no fish and no men!
2. Go Bussing! Whoa! The bus rides in Kerala are nothing short of a thrilling roller coaster ride to hell and back (Err back? Conditions apply!) so much that they put Essel World's Thunder and the likes to shame! The bus driver drives the bus as if he has gas trouble-loose motions-leaky bladder-puke all at once and he is rushing to the nearest loo just around the corner! Go bussing after all its not everyday that you get to enjoy such greater thrills of life at such a cheap price! But those walking on the roads- BEWARE! You'll never know what hit you from where! Don't ever walk on Kerala's roads! It is dangerous for you!
3. Go Walking! Ya! ya! I just warned you about walking on Kerala's roads and now I am telling you to walk? Well! Not on the road you dumbo! I am talking about the woods! Kerala is blessed with so much scenic beauty with the woods and the lakes and the trees that walking around this lap of nature is a MUST! Best place to dance around the trees and woo your soon-to-be! Honeymoon bells ringing in your ears, eh?
4. Go Eating! We Keralites can make food out of anything! Trust ME! Take the humble banana plant for instance. We cook the leaves to make koomblapam, the fruit to make the world famous etheka upperi (=banana chips), the raw fruit to make kaa mezhukavarthi, the trunk to make pindi thoran, the flower to make koomb thoran, the roots to make..err I'm not sure if we eat the roots! Will ask mom and get back to you! So! So now you know why we Mallus are taller, stronger, sharper (just like me!) We eat anything and everything!
5. Go Clicking! There is so much variety an colour in Kerala, that it would make your camera go click-click 24/7. Buxom andies in chatta mundu, pot bellies unggles in nothing but a flowing florescent pinng lungis with green flowers drawn in a typical Mohan Lal stlye! And then? And then, there's elephant poop! Have you ever seen an elephant's poop? OH. MY. GAWD! I saw one and that too right in the middle of the road! It was so huge! Trust me! My jaws dropped! It put my entire digestive system to shame! We, I mean us humans can never compete with the elephant in poop business! Buxom aunties, pot bellied uncles, elephant poop - you can't afford to miss nature's oh-so-colorful collage, can you?
I guess you must be raring to go to Kerala now! And trust me, you should! There is a reason Kerala is called God's Own Country! Once you are there, you'll know it!
P.S. I am a true-blue Malayalee penne kocch and I love my Kerala and my fellow Mallus alike!
P.P.S. And thank God that elephants don't fly!! Phew!!
Seri Appol!
